I'll Be Watching You
by gidgetgal9
Summary: Sam comes face to face with his past, and must deal with his buried feelings over the trauma he suffered eight years ago. Sequel to Every Breath You Take. Takes place directly after Home. Co-written by Sendintheclowns.
1. Chapter 1

I'll Be Watching You

Summary: Sam comes face to face with his past, and must deal with his buried feelings over the trauma he suffered eight years ago. Sequel to Every Breath You Take. Takes place directly after Home.

Warning: This story is rated M, for erotic content. The story deals with a psychic vampire whose feedings take on a decidedly sexual bent. Those particular chapters will hold a stronger warning so any sensitive souls may steer clear of them if they so choose.

A/N 1- Gidgetgal9: Wow, we have another wild ride in store for you guys, with Heather in the driver's seat. We had such a great time writing the first story so it was a no brainer for us to accept the challenge of doing the sequel. I just hope that you the readers have half as much fun reading this as we did writing it. Sendintheclowns is the perfect writing partner and I bow down to her. She has taught me so much about the writing experience and all of it has been good. I was so happy that Floralia agreed to once again beta our madness. She truly is the best and I will be forever thankful for all her wonderful support and help.

A/N 2- Sendintheclowns: Well, we're back with another tale regarding the psychic vampire who made such an indelible impression on the Winchester family in our first collaboration together, Every Breath You Take. There aren't enough expressions of gratitude to thank Floralia, our beta, for attention to continuity, grammar and overall plot on this beast; you're the best! That goes double for Gidgetgal9 -- it's been a blast playing in your sandbox.

Chapter 1

Dean raised his hand and gamely waved at Jenny and the kids before he wheeled the Impala away from their childhood home. He had nothing against the family now residing in the old Winchester house, but his visit there had done nothing except stir up painful memories and Dean was more than ready to leave it, and Lawrence, in the dust.

Dean's concentration was split between looking for signs to I-70 as he navigated down the residential street and the box of cassettes sitting on the bench seat next to him. The ramp leading them west hadn't materialized yet but Dean smiled with success as he popped in the cassette of Boston's self titled release. The choice of music was less frenetic than his usual style; the combination of Brad Delp's mellow vocals and Tom Scholz's kick-ass guitar were just what he needed to sooth his battered nerves.

It had been one hell of a week, what with Sam's revelation that he had been having "visions" and his insistence that they travel to their childhood home — the one place Dean had vowed he'd never return to. And his misgivings had been right on target as both brothers had ultimately come face to face with the spirit of their mother. Mary Winchester had been every bit as beautiful as Dean remembered her, with flowing blond hair and a gentle smile. But she had given her energy to banish the poltergeist who had taken up residence in the house and the pain was sharp; it was like losing her all over again.

Dean was emotionally wrung out and the last thing he wanted was to have a heart to heart with his little brother over their mom, or even about Sam's new powers. He kept his eyes locked straight ahead for "More Than a Feeling" but when Sam still hadn't said anything when "Peace of Mind" started up, Dean chanced a sidelong glance at his brother.

Sam was scrunched down in the passenger seat, his right elbow resting against the narrow window ledge with his head propped awkwardly against his hand. Something about the tense set of his brother's body gave Dean pause, and after another minute of studiously avoiding the passenger seat he checked on Sam again; this time his brother was rubbing assiduously at his forehead while squinting ahead into the sunny day.

Lowering the volume on the stereo, Dean mentally gathered himself for the coming conversation. It was apparent that Sam was having a hard time with something and needed to talk, even if that was the last thing Dean wanted to do. "Dude, what's going on with you?"

Expecting Sam to either launch into a detailed explanation of what was on his mind or even a glib "I'm fine" which had become Sam's standard first response until prodded, Dean wasn't prepared for the silence that followed his question. If Sam had to marshal his thoughts that much, it must be bad. Dean was sensing an emotional outburst from his sibling and wished they weren't cooped up in the car; it was hard to take cover when stuck behind the wheel, regardless of how sweet the ride.

His brother, still silent, was now rubbing his throat absently. A picture of Sam lying still on the floor, a lamp cord wrapped tightly around his neck, rose unbidden to Dean. It had made complete sense for Dean, Sam and Missouri to split up while completing the ritual to banish the poltergeist but he'd known pure panic when he'd found his baby brother barely struggling to draw in air. He didn't want to start an argument, but it was difficult for Dean to let Sam out of his sight when they were in the field — it was his job to protect Sam and keep him safe. Always had been, always would be. And Sam, despite his protestations, needed to understand that.

Dean punched Sam in the thigh. It wasn't a love tap but he didn't put his full strength into it either. He wasn't trying to bruise his brother, he just wanted his attention. "Ground Control to Major Tom. Can you hear me?"

Sam gave a startled yelp and slowly turned to face Dean. His little brother's face was pale and haunted, dark bruises standing out starkly against his throat. Sam opened his mouth to say something, then hesitated as pain flashed across his face. Dean forced his attention back to the road before stretching his hand out and touching Sam's arm. "Hey, you okay?"

With his peripheral vision, Dean could see Sam was rubbing the middle of his forehead. He wondered if Sam had a headache. Not surprising considering the trauma his body had been through in the last twenty-four hours. But still, Sam usually bitched when there was a minor problem. If everything was fine, that was the time to worry.

His brother's voice, soft and resigned, penetrated his musings. "What did you smack me for?"

Dean kept his attention away from his brother reluctantly. If he jumped down Sam's throat his brother would clam up and it would take forever to figure out what the problem was. And there was something off with Sam; he just couldn't quite put his finger on it. Maybe it was just fall-out from the emotions their old house had stirred up. "You weren't answering me and you know I hate to be ignored."

He really wanted to tell Sam he was worried about him but Dean knew his brother wouldn't appreciate the sentiment anymore than he would feel comfortable saying it. Sam had been pegged as the sensitive Winchester early on but the truth was his little brother was more interested in talking problems to death rather than discussing feelings. They were a seriously fucked up family in that regard but Dean figured from the people they'd met over the years, the majority of the population was in the same boat.

Sam's face was in profile and he stared resolutely out the front windshield but Dean caught a telltale tick in his brother's face before he nodded his head. Something was going on. "Sam, dude, spill it already. I'm all ears."

That was about as close as Dean got to inviting an emotional scene but Sam didn't take the bait. Silence reigned as Dean finally spotted the on ramp to I-70 West and immersed himself in merging with the busy commuter traffic.

Once they were safely on the interstate and up to cruising speed, he checked on Sam who still wasn't engaging in conversation. A shiver rippled through his brother's body. It was slight but visible. "Hey, are you feeling okay?"

His little brother refused to meet his eye as he answered. "Yeah, I'm fine. Just have a little headache."

Dean decided to let it go for now. Sam would tell him if something major was going on. And then he remembered that his brother had successfully hidden the fact that he was having visions from him. It didn't exactly inspire confidence. Then again, Sam had finally told him what was going on. Dean had to trust him. If they didn't trust each other, this little partnership wasn't going to make it out of Kansas.

Settling back against the bench seat, Dean concentrated on the music. Sam also shifted in the passenger seat, seeking a more comfortable position. Despite the calm demeanor his little brother was projecting, Dean could tell something was going on with Sam and he determined to stick close until he could figure out what was up with his brother.

-0-

At first Sam had thought he was about to be hit with a migraine but when the pain didn't materialize, he forced himself to relax.

When he closed his eyes and took a deep breath, Sam could hear white noise. He tried to pinpoint where it was coming from but he couldn't get a bead on it. The voiceless whisper slithered up his spine and he shivered.

So intent on what was going on in his head, Sam didn't have an inkling that Dean was trying to get his attention until his big brother's fist connected with his thigh and he yelped in dismay. "What did you smack me for?"

Sam cursed the sound of his voice. It was soft and wobbly to his own ears and he hoped Dean hadn't noticed. He didn't want to make Dean worry for no reason. And both brothers were at the end of their rope when it came to dealing with surprises.

Dean raised an eyebrow but kept his eyes on the road. "You weren't answering me and you know I hate to be ignored."

Wondering how long his brother had been trying to talk to him, Sam stared into the distance. Although he could feel Dean's full attention on him, his own drifted as a wave of dizziness passed over him. His head didn't ache but it felt heavy and he was having a hard time holding it up. Another shiver caught him unaware.

Sam's eyes latched on to the semi in front of them. He was trying everything he could to distract his body from these weird sensations. His skin tingled like his body was too small to contain him. It was bizarre. But it didn't hurt. His left eye twitched and he fought to keep his hand at his side. There was no need to alarm Dean. At least not yet.

His older brother was acting all twitchy in the driver's seat and kept shooting concerned glances his way. He hadn't noticed it at first which had only managed to raise Dean's interest. "Sam, dude, spill it already. I'm all ears."

Without warning, Sam's upper body jerked. It was as if Dean had jammed on the brakes, rocking his body forward against the seatbelt, but Sam was the only one affected.

Shit, his brother had seen him. Dean's voice was steady and calm but Sam didn't miss the underlying worry. "Hey, are you feeling okay?"

It took a moment for Dean's words to sink in. Sam thought he was okay. Well, a little shaky. And something wasn't right with his head. That creepy feeling had returned and was taking up residence at the back of his head. "Yeah, I'm fine. Just have a little headache."

Well it wasn't precisely a headache but that would have to do. Sam was fast becoming disoriented and couldn't think of another word to describe what was going on.

A part of Sam was relieved when Dean's focus returned to the road. Another part of him was screaming inside for help.

The landscape whizzed by in a blur as Sam struggled to make sense of what was happening. He could hear music in the background, knew he recognized the music, but couldn't get his brain to cough up the name of the band or song playing.

Sam parted his lips and tried to call his brother's name. He struggled but couldn't make his vocal cords work. And what was his brother's name? It started with a D.

Sam's vision grayed out at the edges and he couldn't hold his head up anymore. His head clunked against the passenger side window as he lost the fight with gravity.

-0-

An audible gasp was the only warning Dean had that Sam was in trouble. They'd been on the road for almost an hour when his brother tipped over like a tree whose roots have pulled out of the ground. The side of Sam's head collided with the passenger window with a resounding thud that made Dean wince.

Dean's hand found his brother's shoulder and he shook it while scanning the side of the road for an exit sign. "Sammy, come on. Talk to me."

Risking a look at his brother, Dean could only see the awkward way he was slumped against the door. He couldn't even see if Sam's chest was moving. "Sam? Are you with me?"

Cupping first the back of Sam's neck, and then sliding his arm along his brother's back, Dean tugged him up and away from the door. Sam's face was pale and slack, his eyelashes feathered against his cheeks.

His brother had passed out and although the Winchester men weren't strangers to being knocked unconscious, this was different.

Dean's adrenaline kicked in as he reviewed his options. A sign announcing an exit in five miles came into view and Dean decided he would get off the interstate and find a place to triage his brother. Sam hated hospitals and doctors but Dean wasn't going to take any chances with his life; if he couldn't figure out what the problem was and fix it with the first aid kit, he'd drag Sam's ass to the nearest medical complex in a heartbeat. It felt like he'd just gotten his brother back and he wasn't going to lose him.

Bracing Sam up with just the hand behind his neck was too difficult so Dean tugged his brother along the back of the seat, Sam's head flopping with the motion, before guiding him against Dean's side. Sam was deadweight but at least now Dean could put his fingers against Sam's neck and feel the slow beat of his heart, see the hitching up and down of Sam's chest that proved he was still breathing, push the hair from his brother's face and wait for his eyes to open.

Except Sam's eyes didn't open.

It seemed to take forever but Dean finally pulled into the first motel he spotted. He left the Impala idling as he unfastened first his seatbelt and then Sam's. It was difficult to maneuver his brother but he finally had Sam stretched out so that his head was in Dean's lap. Carefully thumbing up an eyelid, Dean was relieved when the pupil contracted against the glare of the morning sun. He repeated the action with the other eye with the same results.

Sam's pulse was slow and steady and his airway was clear. Dean couldn't find any signs of bleeding. But Sam had definitely checked out for a while.

Staring at his brother's relaxed face, Dean willed him to wake up. When that didn't work, he smoothed a finger over Sam's cheek. Instead of flinching away, his brother leaned minutely into the contact. "Sammy, come on. Time to wake up."

It was hard to keep the desperation out of his voice but somehow Dean managed. He had to remain strong. Unflappable. Sam's eyelashes twitched but didn't lift. Dean cupped his brother's cheek in his hand. There was a flurry of rapid eye movement behind Sam's lids.

Sam had talked about how he'd had these visions, for lack of a better word, when he was sleeping. Maybe this time a vision had snuck up on Sam while he was awake. Dean didn't pretend to understand what was happening to his brother. But it didn't matter; Dean was ill prepared to handle it at the moment as evidenced by Sam's continued unconscious state. He wanted to go inside and ask for directions to the nearest hospital but he didn't want to leave his brother alone.

His brother rolled his head and moaned something unintelligible. Dean slid a hand through Sam's wavy hair in an attempt to calm him. Sam's eyes blinked open and words rushed out of his mouth in a jumble.

Dean continued to stroke Sam's head while leaning down with his free hand and grasping one of his brother's hands. "It's okay, Sam. Don't try to talk. Just relax for a minute."

Ever contrary, Sam tried to tug his hand from Dean's grip. "Stop it, please. In my head. He…"

The words were nonsensical but Sam was struggling to make Dean understand something. Eyelids lifted to reveal dazed hazel eyes.

Dean hated to see Sam like this. Vulnerable. Confused. It shook Dean to the core. "Just take it easy Sammy. I think it's time I find you a hospital."

If his brother had trouble making sense of what was going on around him, he had no trouble grasping the concept of going to the hospital. "No, no hospital. Just...my head. Talking. Can't think. It's he…"

Sam's slurred words didn't ease Dean's mind. But his extra tall brother was starting to thrash in an effort to sit up and Dean didn't want him to hurt himself. "Let me do the work here. Just relax."

Dean eased Sam by the steering wheel and hooking his hands under Sam's armpits, he lifted his brother into a sitting position. Scooting himself past the steering wheel, Dean let his brother relax back against his chest. "Nice easy breaths. That's it. Just relax."

His little brother was straining and quivering in his arms but with a little patience, and by hooking an arm around Sam's chest so he couldn't wiggle away, his brother's agitation slowly passed.

Sam patted the arm holding him against Dean. "Better. Thanks."

The words were clearer and color was seeping back into Sam's face. Dean was content to hold Sam for as long as it took for his equilibrium to be restored. "What happened?"

His little brother's answer didn't ease Dean's mind. "I don't know. It just came over me and I couldn't move."

Loath to bring it up, Dean was wondering if Sam had suffered some sort of panic attack. "How do you feel now?"

Sam pushed away from the comfort of Dean's arms and steadied himself against the dashboard. "Whoa, kind of a head rush. But the noise is gone."

Dean tilted Sam's head so he could get an unimpeded view of Sam's face. "What noise?"

Raising a shaky hand to his head, Sam pushed his bangs out of his own eyes. "It's hard to explain. It was there and then it was gone. Something familiar. I recognized it but I can't remember."

His little brother still wasn't completely coherent but his eyes were focusing and the disconcerting slurring had disappeared. "What do you say if I get us a room and we'll try to figure this out?"

Sam sought Dean's left hand and squeezed it between his own. "Thanks."

Dean didn't want to let Sam out of his sight but wanted to get his brother out of the car and somewhere more comfortable. Striding toward the motel office, Dean looked over his shoulder to see how Sam was faring. His brother batted a hand toward an ear, like you would if you were swatting at a bug. But he was upright and his eyes were watching Dean.

They'd only made it as far as Manhattan, just over an hour away from Lawrence. Dean had a sinking feeling. He wanted nothing more than to get out of Kansas but it wasn't going to happen today.

First he needed to take care of Sam.

TBC


	2. Chapter 2

I'll Be Watching You

Summary- Sam comes face to face with his past, and must deal with his buried feelings over the trauma he suffered eight years ago. Sequel to Every Breath You Take. Takes place directly after Home. Co-written by sendintheclowns and beta'd by Floralia.

Chapter Two

**The New Beginnings Women's Shelter, Manhattan, Kansas**

"Heather, you need to head home, I know you have to get up early for work tomorrow." A pleasantly plump middle aged woman was smiling as she pointed to the clock.

"Oh Angie, I guess I lost track of time. I didn't realize it was so late." Heather Knight replied. She had been volunteering for almost 8 years at the shelter and felt like it was a second home.

"Yeah, well sweetie as much as I appreciate your company, you need your rest if you are going to be worth anything tomorrow." Angie replied. Heather really liked Angie, she was the closest thing that Heather had to family. They both shared a passion for helping people.

"All right, I'm leaving!" Heather huffed in jest as she grabbed her light red jacket and headed towards the door.

As Heather got into her car she pondered over the fact that she had stayed in one place for eight years. She had always been one too look for adventure and got bored if she stayed put to long. That all changed eight years ago when she met the love of her life Sam Winchester.

She hadn't meant to fall for the innocent fifteen year old. He was way too young for her to have used the way she did. Heather was ashamed that she let her desires take over and almost crushed the boy. Once away from his influence she was able to acknowledge what she had done.

With the realization of the horror she had put Sam through, came the guilt. She had wanted to take her life, but finally decided instead to change it Heather had been brought up to take from others, and on that sad lonely day eight years ago she had decided to change her path. From that day forward she would give instead of taking.

Heather hadn't traveled far from the Winchesters to hide. She had in her suicidal condition hoped that they would find her and end her misery. Heather decided to take up residence in Manhattan, Kansas, only an hour from Lawrence. She did change her name again from Day to Knight, hoping that it would be obvious to a hunter. One year past and she realized that the Winchester's must have not seen her worth bothering with. Part of her was relieved but part of her had wished for a quick end to her mental anguish.

Heather felt intense misery for what she had done to Sam and had stayed linked to him just long enough to realize he would recover. It did little to rid her of the guilt she felt causing her beloved to become so ill. She could sense his confusion and guilt as he began to heal and felt bad that she was the cause. Part of her wanted to contact him and to assuage his mental anguish but instead had done her best to distance herself from the boy.

It was hard to let her beloved go. She had in her moment of addiction sworn to Sam that they would unite, but had quickly realized that she was a fool. Their love was one sided and even if Sam did leave his family and hunting, he would never want her tainted love.

Her life in Kansas was Sam free, and lonely but she at least felt that she was making a difference. She worked during the day for the Children's Protection Agency, and at night volunteered at the woman's shelter. On the weekends she helped out at the humane society, so her life was busy which was the way she wanted it. It left her with little time to think about the what ifs of her life.

She still had to feed and that was a constant guilt she lived with. Her feedings now were just to survive, not for power or a high, and that helped with the guilt a bit. Heather waited until she absolutely had to feed and then would head out to the bars. Her "victims" were always people looking for the next high or easy lay. She took just what she needed and gave them what they wanted, but it still made her feel like a freak. Luckily she didn't have to use the same person twice, with Manhattan being a college town with an Army base nearby it was easy to find someone new each time. The fact that the victim was only used once and had no lasting ill effects of their encounter did little to help with the guilt she felt afterwards. After Sam, she had changed and there was no going back to the selfish person she was before.

Heather was brought out of her musing as she pulled up to her building. It was late, and she was exhausted and even though her evening thoughts had gotten her worked up it wasn't long before she was asleep.

_A green two story house appeared in the fog, and Heather watched as a young mom and her children left and her beloved Sam entered the house with Dean and a woman she recognized as Missouri. She would never forget the feisty psychic that she had only briefly "met" before, the woman was a strong presence. As Heather watched Missouri spoke, "Remember boys, work fast. The poltergeist once it learns what we're doing will do everything in its power to stop us." _

_The boys nodded and split up. Heather eyes followed Sam as he moved to the corner of a study. He was starting to make a hole in the wall unaware of an electrical cord weaving its way towards him like a snake. Heather's breath caught in her throat as the cord snaked its way around Sam's throat. As she watched helplessly it began to tighten and it brought Sam to the ground as he struggled to get loose and to catch his breath. _

_Heather was terrified and wanted to reach out for him even though she knew it was a dream. It felt so real. As she watched, her terror turned to hope as Dean entered the room. Dean tried to pry the cord off his brother's neck and when he wasn't successful, he turned to the task of finishing the cleansing ritual. A bright burst of energy filled the room as Dean put the pouch in the wall. He returned his attention to Sam who was wheezing and still in distress. She was relieved when Dean got the cord off of Sam's neck. Dean brought Sam into an embrace and she thought she could hear Sam panting._

Heather bolted straight up in bed as her head vibrated with the sound of Sam's name being screamed. She realized that his name had been screamed in terror from her mouth and she felt her whole body trembling and sweat dampened her hairline. She took a few deep breaths trying to calm herself. Sam is or was in trouble? She knew because of how clear her dream was that it had to be a vision but she wasn't sure if it had taken place yet.

As she looked at the clock she realized that it was early morning and she knew her vision took place at night. If it had happened earlier last night, she was worried whether Sam was okay or not. If it was about to happen she hoped that she could warn him. Either way she needed to contact him.

Heather knew that their bond was weak, it had been eight years since she had last contacted him and so it wouldn't be easy to reconnect to him. Her vision had shown that he was in Lawrence so she hoped that the fact he was near by would make contact possible. In fact, the only reason she had probably had the vision was because he was so close.

As Heather's head cleared she made a plan. Today she would call in sick to work, so that she could devote the day to trying to reconnect with Sam. Hopefully she would be able to establish contact quickly. She decided that she needed to be at her best for this to work so she decided to shower, eat and meditate before she even attempted contact.

A couple of hours later, Heather felt like she had herself centered enough to initiate contact with Sam. She started her meditating breathing techniques and once in a trance she opened her connection to Sam.

Heather wasn't surprised to find resistance. It was actually a good sign, because it meant that Sam was strong enough to fight. She hoped that her vision was of what was to come, and that she had time to warn her beloved. When she had left Sam, she knew he was going to be a powerful psychic once his powers emerged, and she could tell that he had started maturing into his powers.

This was not going to be an easy task. The harder she pushed the harder he pushed back. She was sure that Sam wasn't consciously aware of her, but his subconscious was putting up a hell of a fight. If it hadn't been for the fact she was so afraid for Sam, Heather would have backed down. She didn't want to cause him any emotional or physical pain, but her fears from her vision spurred her on.

It had been an exhausting hour and Heather had to stop. Sam had continued to push her away and she needed to regroup. Taking a deep breath to clear her head, Heather refocused. She realized that she wouldn't be able to directly contact Sam. He was too strong. But there was still hope, because she was part succubus it would be fairly easy to contact Sam through his dreams even if he tried to fight her. Dreams were a place where her powers would dominate and he would be more open to a connection.

Dreams weren't a perfect way to communicate with Sam. If he was really deep in sleep she might not be able to even make contact and if she did he might not remember it or understand what she was trying to tell him. It definitely wasn't a fool proof plan but it was all she had.

Heather decided to give herself and Sam a break and would try again in an hour. Sam should be exhausted after their psychic "tango" and hopefully would need sleep soon. She would give herself time to recharge and hoped that when she tried again he would be sleeping. If not, she was determined to keep up her assault until she knew that he was okay and not in danger.

-0-

Dean had helped Sam struggle into their room, and had settled him down on the closest bed. Sam had been like dead weight as Dean helped him into the room and that really concerned him.

Sam was propped up against the headboard and Dean could tell he was having trouble focusing.

"Sammy, you said that you heard noise and it seemed familiar. Are you sure you don't remember more?" Dean asked as he plopped down on the bed next to Sam's.

Dean felt his stomach clinch in worry as Sam turned and tried to focus on the question he had asked. "No, I… really can't remember anything else."

Dean decided to bring up what Sam had said, in hopes that it would bring forth a memory. "Sammy, while you were out of it, you mentioned a "He", who would that be? Man, I'm a poet and didn't know it." Dean smirked at Sam trying to lighten the moment for his brother.

Sam rolled his eyes at Dean but the small smile on his face told Dean that he appreciated the gesture. "Um, I said "He"? I..sorry Dean, everything is so fuzzy. Man, I feel almost high."

Dean couldn't help but snort. "Um yeah, like you would know how that felt."

"I went to college." Sam whined back.

"Dude, you actually studied so don't go telling me you were part of the stoner crowd." Dean chuckled. "But, I do think that some sleep might help you out there, Stoner Boy."

Sam huffed a bit but Dean could tell his brother was going to give in. "If it will make you happy Dean, I'll be a good little boy and take my nap."

"Tell you what, you get some rest and be a good little boy and you wonderful big brother will get you some cookies to eat for snack." Dean couldn't resist teasing his brother, he knew it was helping to keep the both of them from freaking out over Sam's "episode".

"You're a jerk Dean!"

"Uh, yeah whatever bitch. Get some rest, and we'll grab lunch when you wake up." Dean could see the fight leaving Sam as moved his pillows around and settled down in bed.

"Yeah, whatever Dean, but it's my turn to pick the restaurant." Sam mumbled out as he yawned and closed his eyes.

The boy had to be exhausted because moments later Dean could tell that Sam was dead to the world.

-0-

Heather had used the last hour to recenter herself. She had taken time to eat a bite and meditate and now she was ready to try again. Placing hands on her temples she tried to establish contact. As she reached out, it was immediately clear that Sam's barriers were down, probably due to the fact he was asleep.

Heather had hoped for this. Because she was part succubus, it was easy to access humans in their dreams. In fact some succubus and incubus feed off of humans during their wet dreams.

_As she entered Sam's dream, her breath caught. It had been eight years since she had last laid eyes on her beloved and now he was standing in front of her. He had grown into a beautiful man, as she knew he would. It was everything she could do not to rush over and touch him. _

_His dream had him in a bar, watching people from a corner booth. Heather approached the bar and grabbed two drinks before approaching the booth Sam was sitting in._

_Sam's eyes locked on her as she approached. "Heather, is that you?"_

_Heather could tell that Sam was deep in the throws of sleep and she hoped that in this state she could reach him and that he would understand what she was trying to tell him._

"_Yes it's me. Can I sit with you? I brought you a beer." Heather could see that Sam was confused but he nodded for her to sit down._

"_Thanks. So what brings you here?" Sam asked, body tense as he waited for her to answer._

"_Well Sam, this is going to sound weird, but you're dreaming. And I just entered your dream, because I need to talk to you." Heather reached across the table taking Sam's right hand in her left. He tensed at the gesture but didn't pull away._

"_Uh, I'm dreaming? But then you're not real." Sam answered in a quiet voice. His expression was one of confusion and fear. He swallowed hard and Heather knew she was treading on thin ice. She needed to move cautiously._

"_Oh Sam, do you remember from our time together, that I'm part succubus?" Sam flinched and nodded. Heather gave him a reassuring smile and continued. "Well, because I'm part succubus I can visit people in their dreams. They have to be close by though. I had a vision last night of you being attacked in a house that was infested with a poltergeist. I needed to contact you to warn you."_

"_Oh, well I..is that the only reason you're here?" Sam asked and then looked down at his hand in hers._

"_Yes, in fact Sam, I need you to do one thing for me, okay?" Sam looked up and nodded. "I need you to remember this dream. You are going to be in Lawrence and you're going to try to help a family cleanse their house of evil spirits. While there, alone, you are attacked from behind. A power cord to a lamp snakes around your neck and chokes you. Now that you know maybe you can avoid being hurt, okay?" Heather gave Sam's hand a squeeze and let go._

"_I… okay. I'll try to remember." Sam swallowed and smiled. Heather could tell that Sam was confused in his dream state and was having trouble processing what she was telling him. Heather just hoped that her warning would stay with him when he awoke._

"_Sam, I did also want to take this moment to apologize. Baby, what I did to you when you were fifteen was wrong and I have felt guilt over it ever since. I know there isn't anything that I can do to make it up to you, but I want you to know I'm sorry." Heather's eyes teared up as she rose to leave. She could tell that her statement was upsetting Sam and that made her heart ache. _

"_I would like to tell you that I forgive you but.." Sam's eyes filled with tears and he started to speak again but before he could a table crashed to the ground next to them._

"_Bitch step away from my brother. You have no right to be here but since you are here, I going to make you pay." Dean eyes were full of anger as he pulled a gun out from his jacket._

_Heather knew that the fact Dean had shown up was Sam's way of protecting himself from her, so she decided to leave and hoped that Sam would be okay now that she had warned him._

-0-

Dean was flipping channels and about to drift off himself when he noticed that his brother's peaceful sleep had turned fitful. As he watched his brother began to thrash around in bed and before Dean could intervene, Sam shot straight up and bed. The name that his brother screamed was clear- and it shook Dean to the bone.

"HEATHER!"

TBC

A/N: Thank you for all the wonderful reviews! We will have more of the story up in a couple of days. Oh and I made a Sam and Heather icon and if you want to see it- it's on my profile page! Thanks for reading!


	3. Chapter 3

I'll Be Watching You

Summary: Sam comes face to face with his past, and must deal with his buried feelings over the trauma he suffered eight years ago. Sequel to Every Breath You Take. Takes place directly after Home. Co-written by Sendintheclowns and beta'd by Floralia.

Chapter 3

Sam bolted upright in the bed, a name lingering in his head: Heather.

Bringing both hands to his face, he scrubbed it as though trying to remove the memory of Heather from his mind.

He'd only been fifteen when Heather had barreled into his life. She taught him to meditate and about Chakras, how to play twister…and she was the daughter of an incubus who as a psychic vampire had fed off of Sam for a month before she turned him loose.

Locked in his memories, it took a while for Dean's concerned voice to get through to him. "Sam, don't do this, man. Talk to me. Sammy, you with me?"

While his thoughts had drifted to Heather, Dean had moved to his bed and now pulled Sam into his arms. Sam's heartbeat started to settle. He felt protected in the circle of his big brother's arms and the last vestiges of panic from his dream fled.

Embarrassed to be held like a baby, Sam reluctantly pushed away from Dean. Sam had declared more times than he could count that he was no longer a kid, so it was time he started acting like an independent adult.

Peering up through his bangs, Sam saw the worry on Dean's face. "I'm sorry, I had a weird dream. A really weird dream."

Leaning back, Sam propped himself on shaky arms. The adrenaline rush had faded leaving behind exhaustion and an intense headache. He could feel the intense scrutiny of Dean's eyes on him but he didn't have the energy to object at the moment.

Dean cleared his voice. "So, you were dreaming about that bitch, Heather?"

The fact that his brother knew about his dream was disconcerting to him. "How did you…"

His brother gave a short bark of laughter, interrupting him. "How did I know? I'm pretty sure everyone on this floor knows the name Heather now. You screamed her name. But I want to know why she popped up in your dream."

Yeah, they had a right to be concerned about Sam's dreams now. Especially since they sometimes came true. "I don't know why. Maybe it's the stress of coming back to Lawrence and…well, everything that's happened lately."

Dean moved off the bed and slowly began to pace. "Actually, now that I think about it, I think you were trying to say Heather's name in the car. A couple of times you said "he" and I thought you were talking about a guy or even a headache or something. But why Heather and why now? Tell me about your dream."

He couldn't really explain it, but Sam didn't want to talk about his dream. In fact he didn't want to think about Heather at all. He'd refused to talk about her all those years ago and now, as an adult, he was no closer to making peace with what had happened to him at her hands. He was conflicted about the whole thing.

-0-

Dean watched the shutters drop down over Sam's face. Whenever the subject of Heather was broached, his brother clammed up. It had aggravated Dean at the time – how could he help Sam get over the trauma of being kidnapped if his brother refused to talk about it – and it still rankled today.

He'd seen the way his little brother acted around the opposite sex, all shy. Sam had always been at ease with people of all ages but after Heather, he was never the same with girls in his own age bracket. And really, that just wasn't right; Sam was a Winchester and attracting the opposite sex came naturally to Winchesters. What a waste.

John Winchester had shared a theory with Dean all those years ago about why Sam was screwed up. Two words – Stockholm Syndrome. His little brother had somehow bonded strongly with the female who had kidnapped him. Warped his mind. Stolen his innocence.

And the nightmares were just the cherry on top. Night after night after night of Sam waking up, tangled in the bedding, screaming or whimpering Heather's name. Sometimes Sam sounded like he was pleading for his life; sometimes he sounded like he was pleading for something else. And neither John nor Dean had gotten anywhere when they raised the subject. Sam totally shut down.

Heather was like a dirty little secret that the family had buried. But something was going on now and Dean was determined to protect his brother. And if that meant making Sam spill his guts about something that made him uncomfortable then that was too bad.

Nudging his brother's shoulder with his hand, Dean dropped onto his own bed. Immediately a wave of restlessness hit him but he forced himself to remain still. If he wanted Sam's cooperation he would need to show a little patience. "Sam, I know you don't want to talk about this, but if Heather is back on the scene, we need to deal with it. What was your dream about?"

Sam refused to meet his eyes. His little brother's body posture was one of resignation, his body pressing more deeply into the mattress. When Dean held his silence, Sam slumped back off his elbows and covered his eyes with an arm. "God, my head is killing me."

Dean didn't doubt his brother was in pain but Dean needed to know what was going on. "I'll get you something for it in a moment. And food. But first I need to know what happened in your dream."

With a mild groan, Sam gave in. "She knew about what happened in Lawrence. About the cleansing ritual. About the lamp cord choking me. She said…"

His brother paused and swallowed. Dean wanted to prompt him but Sam could be stubborn and there was no rushing him. His foot started jiggling with nervous energy and it took everything Dean had not to demand answers. Sam broke the silence and continued. "She said she didn't want me to get hurt, that she wanted me to remember the dream."

Dean hadn't missed the way Sam avoided using Heather's name. His little brother was good and freaked out and that was getting to Dean.

Striding across the room, Dean shuffled through his duffle bag and extracted a bottle of Extra Strength Tylenol. Filling the tiny motel provided glass with water in the bathroom, he returned to Sam's side. "Here's something for your head."

Sam struggled to lift his head up and take the pills and glass. Dean slid forward and started to ease his hand behind Sam's head when his little brother glared at him. When Sammy was a child, he depended on Dean completely for his care. Now Sam was so bent on showing that he was an equal partner in this endeavor that he fought Dean's ministrations.

And Dean understood because had the shoe been on the other foot he would have declined help. It was the Winchester way and even though Sam had tried to deny his heritage while at school, he was Winchester through and through.

Dean appreciated the cost Sam had paid to share his dream. "Why don't you relax while I go out and forage for dinner?"

His little brother shook his head stubbornly. "No, I'm fine. I'll come with you."

Sam threw his long legs over the side of the bed and hoisted himself into a sitting position. He pulled a hand across his forehead and pushed hair away from his face. Dean saw through the charade; Sam wasn't doing well and was taking a moment to compose himself.

Pushing himself up onto his feet, Sam swayed in place before collapsing back onto the bed in a heap. Dean was across the room and by Sam's side in an instant. "Damn it, Sam. Just cool your jets."

Dean didn't like the way the purple bruises stood out against Sam's pale skin or the dazed expression on Sam's face. His brother needed rest. And then they needed to come up with some sort of game plan.

Without asking for Sam's permission, Dean settled his brother more comfortably on the bed and even yanked the comforter off his own and draped it over Sam's prostrate form.

Knowing that his hovering would only raise Sam's ire, Dean moved back to his bed and tried to give his brother some space. He turned on the TV but covertly checked on his brother. When the color began to seep back into his face and he no longer seemed as though he was on the verge of passing out, Dean decided it was safe to run out for food. "Here's the remote. Try not to scream like a girl in a slasher flick while I'm gone. I'll bring you back a prize if you're good."

Sam lifted his middle finger in response and Dean ducked out the door. At least Sam was slowly perking up again.

-0-

Heather relaxed on her bed. Long gone was the frilly flowered decor she'd favored when she met Sam. No, she'd pared down and everything in her apartment was strictly utilitarian. Plain green curtains covered her windows and a cotton green comforter graced her bed.

Sam. What a rush she'd gotten from seeing the young man when she'd connected with him in his dream. The adult Sam was everything she'd hoped he'd be in face and form – the large hazel eyes may have shifted from youthful innocence to mature knowledge but they were still the most beautiful sight she'd ever seen. His face had slimmed down as he left his youth behind but the dimples still dazzled. And the wide shoulders had only continued to fill out.

Forcing herself to abandon thoughts of Sam, Heather concentrated on her deep breathing. Infiltrating Sam's dream and talking to him had cost her a chunk of energy and she wasn't ready to feed yet, so she needed to rest.

Closing her eyes, she entered a meditative state. She was taking herself through the calming exercise when she felt a mental nudge. _Sam?_

_A deep voice called to her. "Please, come outside. I need to talk to you."_

_Heather found herself standing outside of her apartment building as a tall, handsome stranger approached her from the sidewalk. "Heather, is that you?"_

_The voice was deeper but the man standing in front of her was her Sam. "Yes, Sam, it's me. But how did you find me?"_

_Shaking the hair out of his eyes, Sam's lips quirked into a sad smile. "I just concentrated on finding you and here I am. I guess we still have a connection, even after all these years."_

_Taking a step forward, Heather's heart clenched as Sam moved back. Away from her. That was fine, she didn't have to touch him. It was enough to see him. "Did you get my message about the lamp cord? I can't bear to see you hurt."_

_The sad smile twisted to one of bitterness. "We already took care of the poltergeist problem, you're too late with your warning."_

_Sam's low voice matched the bitterness of his smile. Message received. If Heather had really cared about Sam's well-being, she never would have fed on him. Never would have taken him from his family. "Is that what you wanted to tell me, Sam? Or is there something else you need from me?"_

_Raising a clenched fist to his forehead, Sam pushed against it as pain flashed across his face. "I think we've got some unfinished business between us, don't you? We'll be seeing you around."_

Heather's eyes snapped open. She was still in her bedroom. But Sam had found a way to contact her, probably though another dream.

She hoped he was okay. He was different than she remembered him. Driven. Melancholy. And was it her imagination or did his last words sound more like a threat than goodbye? _We'll be seeing you around. _

Definitely a threat. And despite the "we" Sam has used, Heather felt a little thrill down her spine at the prospect of seeing Sam again.

She knew it was wrong. But this was Sam.

-0-

Sam was disoriented. He'd found himself drifting off to sleep and thoughts of Heather had invaded his mind. The next thing he knew, he was confronting her outside of her apartment building. He didn't know how he knew that's where she lived, he just did.

Closing his eyes, Sam pictured the sign outside of the apartment building: Heritage Ridge Apartments, 3108 Heritage Court.

Maybe it had just been another weird dream but Sam didn't think so. His gut was telling him Heather was here in Manhattan and that Sam now had her address.

His head was pounding and his stomach clenched with nausea. Sam rolled to his side and staggered toward the bathroom, catching himself on the wall as his legs threatened to drop him to the floor.

Heather. And she was acting all sweet and concerned. Not like the monster that had nearly drained him to death.

Unfinished business, that's what he said. But Sam didn't really want to see Heather again. It would be best for everyone if Sam convinced Dean to leave Kansas, and Heather, behind.

Intense longing filled Sam. Heather had been the first woman he'd been attracted to. She'd creeped him out at first but the more time he'd spent with her, the more he'd grown to like her.

It was all so confusing. A part of him wanted to run in the other direction, as far away from Heather as possible. Before his feelings for her took root again. Feelings of longing and desire.

Sam's legs wobbled and he clung to the wall. He could remember Heather begging him to drink the protein drink and the way Sam had refused, allowing himself to grow weaker and weaker. He'd made Heather cry.

His family had been left in the dark. Sam had refused to fill them in on any of the details that had happened while he'd been with the dark haired older woman.

Dean had been enraged and then hurt. His big brother wanted nothing more than to hunt the psychic vampire down and end her. And when Sam had withdrawn, refusing to entertain plans of revenge or of anything, Dean had suffered.

A sudden, blinding pain had Sam collapsing to his knees, his uncertain stomach forgotten. His hands clawed at his head, trying to ease the hurt. His vision dimmed, returned, and then grayed out again. Falling forward until his hands supported him, Sam clung to consciousness.

_Heather._

-0-

Dean had only been gone twenty minutes but it had seemed like longer. Sam was still trying to shake off the effects of whatever had happened to him and Dean would feel better once his little brother was back in his sights.

He was confident of his skills as a hunter, having been trained by the best, but Dean's main role had always been to take care of Sam. For eighteen years his little brother had been his world. And then Sam had packed up and set off for the left coast, leaving Dean behind.

It had been the longest four years of Dean's life. He'd carried on with the hunting, but a part of him had been missing. And now Sam was back and Dean's life had purpose again. If only Sammy would quit fighting him and let Dean do his job.

Quietly opening the motel door, Dean glanced at the bed and didn't find Sam. "Sammy?!"

Dean dropped the bag containing their burgers and drinks before bolting into the room. Sam was sprawled on his stomach, cheek resting on the worn carpet outside of the bathroom, his eyes closed.

Kneeling next to Sam, he touched his brother's back. "Hey, Sam, you okay?"

He could feel Sam's back hitching up and down in time to his breaths but he wasn't responding to Dean. Gently turning his brother so that he was facing to the side instead of on his stomach, Dean tried a sternum rub. No response. Not even a moan.

Dean forced himself to remember his basic first aid. Sam's airway was open, he was breathing, and his pulse was hard to locate which almost sent Dean into a full panic, but it was there. The ABC's were all accounted for but Sam wasn't stirring.

Pushing and prodding his brother's body until he was settled into a lateral recovery position, Dean pulled out his cell phone. If Sam didn't show signs of waking up in the next minute, Dean would call 911. He wasn't going to take any chances with Sam's life.

Sam's arm shifted. Dean put a hand on Sam's shoulder, as much to comfort himself as Sam. He wanted to say something so that Sam would hear his voice but his normal trademark smartass comments had fled in the face of finding Sam unresponsive.

His brother's eyelashes lifted and Dean was staring into bloodshot, confused eyes. "Heather?"

Dean's heart sank to his toes. Heather. The bitch. She'd better not have hurt his brother. But even if she hadn't hurt him this time, Dean had a score to settle with her and he intended to find her and make her pay.

Pushing thoughts of revenge to the side, Dean focused all of his attention on Sam. His brother's face was obscured by too long hair and Dean mentally cursed it as he carefully pushed it aside and tried to anchor it behind Sam's ear. "How are you feeling Sammy?"

Sam awkwardly rolled and heaved himself up onto his hands and knees without warning. Dean swooped in and tried to support his brother's weight by tucking an arm around Sam's middle. "Come on, Sam. Just relax for a minute. Tell me what's going on with you."

His brother continued to buck and struggle and Dean was forced to lift Sam and pull him against his chest, his arms pinning Sam's to his side. Dean didn't want to restrain Sam like this but he couldn't let his brother hurt himself either. "Sam, enough already. It's me, Dean."

Dean had tried to inject some of his dad's marine tone into his voice. Sam's struggles abruptly ceased.

Sam relaxed back against Dean, letting him take up his weight. It was awkward with both of them kneeling on the floor and Dean wanted to make Sam more comfortable, but first he needed to know Sam wasn't going to freak out on him.

His brother rolled his head against Dean's shoulder. "She's here. In Manhattan. I need…"

Shifting his arms so that they were cradling, not restraining, Dean spoke quietly in Sam's ear. "You need what, Sammy. Tell me what you need."

Sam's head tipped forward, shifting their center of gravity. Dean tried to counter it but his brother slipped to his side, coming to rest in the crook of Dean's arm.

The color was bleached from his brother's face and the eyes were dark pools of pain. "Stop. I need to make it stop."

TBC

A/N: Thanks for the wonderful reviews- it's nice to know that you guys like our newest adventure with Heather! We love reading all of the reviews- and we wanted to thank Sairah for her anonymous review. We also wanted to thank our beta, Florala - she is just the best. We will have more up in a couple of days. Thanks for reading!


	4. Chapter 4

I'll Be Watching You

Summary- Sam comes face to face with his past, and must deal with his buried feelings over the trauma he suffered eight years ago. Sequel to Every Breath You Take. Takes place directly after Home. Co-written by Sendintheclowns and beta'd by Floralia.

Chapter 4

_Sam rasped out. "Stop. I need to make it stop." _Those words were haunting Dean as he helped his brother to his bed. Dean was frantic, he wanted to find that bitch Heather and stop this insanity, but he couldn't leave Sam alone right now.

"Sammy, are you with me?" Dean asked as he sat on the bed next to Sam. Sam's eyes were open but had a glazed look to them. His brow was no longer creased in pain, so that was some comfort.

Dean didn't get a response and that scared him. "Sammy, are you okay?" Dean gave his brother a little shove and then Sam closed his eyes. His breathing became deep as if in slumber and Dean sighed. Maybe if the kid got some uninterrupted sleep he would feel better.

Watching Sammy lie there, knowing that his brother was being haunted once again by Heather, took Dean's memories back to the time the last time she had hurt his brother. He and his father had been so happy to get Sam, back but so afraid of whether the young boy would ever fully recover. In Dean's mind, Sam never really did.

It had taken a good year before Sam was back to normal around even the family. Dean remembered how Sam was his constant shadow that year, not that it bothered Dean. It was reassuring to have Sam within sight after losing him for that month. But it did worry Dean that his once so independent brother was so afraid to be alone.

The nightmares that first year were a constant too. Dean had them. Dreams that would start out with him just walking down the street with Sammy only to turn around and find him gone. He would wake in a cold sweat desperately seeking his brother's form out in the next bed and only then would he able to settle back down. But he knew that his nightmares were minor compared to that of his brother.

Sam refused to share many details with Dean about his time with Heather or his nightmares, but Dean knew they were bad. Dean suspected that his brother had been sexually molested because some of the nightmares were sexual in nature, wet dreams. Being in such close quarters with Sam, he couldn't help but notice. His brother would emit throaty moans of desire and wake up with Heather's name on his lips. Once awake he would rush to the bathroom and Dean would hear him weeping. Teenage years and wet dreams were an awkward enough subject for Dean and he knew that his brother was hurting but had no clue how to make it better.

It was obvious to Dean that he should have addressed the problem head on, but they were both young and sex was something he didn't feel comfortable discussing with Sam, but he tried to at least be there for Sam. Once Sam would settle down from one of those dreams, Dean always offered to let Sam sleep with him. Sam seemed to take comfort in Dean's presence.

His brother did seem to slowly recover over that year but Dean had noticed the permanent damaged Heather had inflicted. Sam had always been a bit shy around girls, now he avoided them. Dean had been able to set up a few double dates and that helped some but it took a lot of coaxing to get Sam to even talk to a girl.

One of the things that Dean had hoped as Sam left for college was that his fear of the opposite sex would subside. He was very pleased to learn that Sam had found a girl and seemed so confident in his role as her boyfriend. Dean hadn't had a chance to get to know Jess before the tragedy but he knew that he owed a lot to her for helping Sam get over the trauma that Heather had unleashed on his brother.

Sitting on the bed watching his brother, he now hoped that this encounter with the bitch would not take everything back to square one with Sam.

-0-

Sam was in so much pain, on the floor held by his anxious brother. Then it was like his brain couldn't take it anymore and he just snapped, no longer able to focus on anything. He was vaguely aware of his brother's presence but was unable to speak. Sam felt his body being lowered on the bed and heard his brother's frantic call "Sammy are you with me?", but he was being pulled away into the darkness.

In the darkness he heard a voice. It was a voice he knew, but it was so hard to focus. His head was still floating. Sam focused as hard as he could, trying focus on the words. The voice was female, and soft, so soft. It made him feel warm all over. The voice was from his past and it had made him feel so good.

_"Sam, baby can you hear me? Please Sam, I need you to concentrate. It's Heather, you remember me don't you Sam?" Her voice was a bit louder but still soothing._

_Heather, yes Sam remembered Heather. She was the woman that haunted him. The woman that had taken him from his family and hurt him but also made him feel so good. He had never had a connection like that since with a woman._

_Sam had always feared the time when they might meet again. Before she had left him, Heather had promised they would be reunited. That prospect had always scared him and at the same time excited him. He knew that contact with her would start up the conflicting feelings he had for her all over again._

_When she had left him for his family to find, he was so broken. Part of him wanted to stay disconnected from them. It was easier than facing the feelings he had buried. The feelings of ecstasy that Heather's feedings had given him. He had never felt anything so exciting and powerful before or since. Their time together had been very frightening but oh so pleasurable._

_It had been his need of connecting with Dean that had allowed him to come back. Dean had been a constant and even though Sam had never been brave enough to share his ordeal with Dean, just having his brother support him had helped him a lot._

_It took Sam a long time to distance himself from his feelings of guilt for allowing himself to be taken and for all the pleasure he had felt while with her. He also harbored guilt over the fact that it was because of his plan that he had been in such bad shape when his family found him. He let them blame Heather for his condition and Sam had not been brave enough to fess up to the fact that his illness had been caused by himself._

_The wet dreams he had experienced after their time together had been so intense. Her hands stroking him and the energy flowing brought such amazing climaxes that left him feeling a longing to be with her, but once fully awake he was full of disgust at himself for feeling that way._

_She was still calling and Sam tried to answer. His voice was weak but he managed to say her name. "Heather."_

_"That's good baby. I need you to listen to me Sam, we need to work on our connection. Do you understand?" Heather's voice now had a body attached to it. Sam found himself laying in a bed with Heather sitting beside him._

_"I don't understand, where are we?" Sam tried to sit up in bed, but was too weak._

_"Sweetie, we are in your head, you're in a dream like state. I put you in a dream like trance so that we could talk. You were hurting yourself trying to stay connected with me." Heather reached over and smoothed the hair back from his brow, and Sam wanted to move away but couldn't and was ashamed to feel comfort in the gesture._

_"I'm hurting because of you. You're the one in my head, and I want you to leave me alone." Sam spoke the words and hoped that they sounded sure, because his true feelings over reuniting with Heather were far from clear to him._

_Heather sighed and looked miserable as she took Sam's hand into hers. "Baby, you're right and I'm so sorry that reconnecting with you has caused so much pain. I just needed to warn you and then I was too late. I promise after tonight, I will never bother you again Sam."_

_The fog in Sam's head was beginning to clear a bit as he spoke. "Hmm, for some reason I find that hard to believe. The last time we were together I remember what you said. __You promised that someday we would reunite, but I will wait until the time is right. So is the time right Heather?"_

_"Oh baby, I was so wrong. I was caught up in the moment. I truly loved you Sam and I let that blind me to what was right. Once I had left and thought about everything that had happened, I realized that you and I could never be together. What I felt as our love was one sided and I will forever feel guilt over what I did. I vowed to never contact you again, but then I had a vision of you being hurt and I had to warn you." Heather's beautiful face was streaked with tears._

_Part of Sam wanted to soothe her and the other part wanted to physically push her away. She was so close and it made his breath hitch and at the same time his skin crawl. He was beginning to feel a bit stronger in his dream world and slowly pulled himself up into a sitting position facing Heather._

_Sam took a deep breath before speaking. "So you used me up and left me for my family to fix, and I'm left to deal with everything you did to me alone. I was so ashamed. How could I tell them that what happened to me, felt good. That at times I enjoyed our time together. You felt guilt, well so did I. I felt guilt over not fighting you more, and for the pleasure I had felt in your company, so don't try to tell me about guilt." Sam drew his hands up in fists trying to contain his anger._

_"Oh sweetie, I wish I could take all that back. You needed counseling after what I did, but I'm sure your family didn't understand that. I work with abused children and woman now, it is my way of trying to pay back to society for what I have taken. And as much as it pains me to say this, Sam, you need help dealing with what happened. A therapist specializing in rape would be very beneficial…." Heather's voice was low and mournful and Sam couldn't take it anymore. He shoved her off the bed._

_"Shut up! Don't you dare tell me what I need! You don't know what kind of hell I have lived through all because of you! I'm so afraid of taking the first step with woman. I'm like a shy child with no clue how to even ask a girl out. I stayed a virgin until college. I met Jess and she just knew what I needed. She knew that I had experienced something life changing and never asked but treated me gently until I finally gained confidence, but even with her I didn't experience the same kind of connection that we had. I would wake up from vivid wet dreams about you and our sexual bonding. Wanna talk about guilt? I felt like I was cheating on Jess every time it happened. Now she is dead and everything is ruined!" Sam curled up in a ball no longer caring that Heather was in the room. This was too much. Too much to handle._

_He felt Heather sit on the bed again, but he didn't look up. "Sam, I'm so sorry. I don't know what to say. There really isn't anything that I can do to make this better. But, I need to show you how to shut our bond off. I didn't realize when I contacted you that your powers were so strong now. I don't think you are consciously aware of it, but you are holding our link open and that is what is causing you so much pain when you are awake. We need to shut that down." He felt her reach over and tentatively touch his arm._

_Sam flinched away. "You're just trying to trick me. You know I'm coming after you and you want to hide. Well, it's not going to work, Dean and I will find you and then you won't have to feel guilty anymore, because we will make sure you pay!"_

And with that thought Sam woke up.

-0-

Dean was about to call Missouri for help when his brother started moving and then jerked completely awake.

"You back with me Sammy?" Dean asked as he scrambled over to Sam's bed.

"D-Dean, I'm back but my head still hurts." Sam said placing his right hand to his temple.

"Maybe we should go to the hospital and see if we can get some good drugs?" Dean knew his brother wouldn't take him up on this but he felt like he should offer, his brother looked like crap.

"No, I-I think it'll pass. Heather is the cause of it, and so I don't think the hospital will be able to help me." Sam's voice was unsteady.

Dean swallowed hard. How was he going to help his brother? He knew if he took out Heather this would all stop, but how do you hunt the bitch when your brother needs you. This situation reminded him of all those years ago. Sam was in such a bad shape then, that his dad had decided that it was best to focus on Sam, and they never did take out Heather. Now that was biting them in the ass.

"Sammy, I've been thinking and I think really the only person that might be able to help us is Missouri. Do you think you could handle a car ride back to Missouri's?" Dean hated to subject his brother to a car ride in his condition but he really didn't know of any other options.

"I-I don't think we have a choice Dean. Your right, she is probably the only person who can help us right now." Sam's voice was quiet less shaky and Dean could tell that meant he was comforted that they had a plan.

"Alright Sammy, let me call Missouri."

-0-

Missouri had just finished up with the last client of the day. She was ready for a long nap: the last few days had taken a lot out of her. Her heart still ached for the Winchester boys.

She felt such guilt having to hide John's presence from the boys. Missouri wanted to beat John with her wooden spoon for being so stubborn. She knew the man felt he was protecting the boys by staying away but she felt he was doing more harm then good by staying away. They needed him: together as a family they were so much stronger.

Missouri was about to head up stairs to bed, when the phone rang. Before she reached it she could feel the anxiety and knew that the call would not hold good news.

"Hello Dean." Missouri could sense the boy the minute she picked up the phone.

"Missouri, um we need your help." Dean stuttered out. She could tell that he was worried by his tone.

"Sure baby, what's the problem." Missouri waited for him to calm enough to answer.

"Can we come back to your house? Sam's not well." Dean sounded so unlike the normally confident young man she knew.

"Sure thing sugar." She was about to speak again when it hit her. An energy presence she hadn't felt in years. "That bitch has contacted your baby brother hasn't she?"

Missouri heard Dean sigh. "Yes, she has her hooks in him and he is in physical pain because of it."

"You bring him straight to me Dean and we'll figure this out. I promise baby. You're not far are you?" Missouri felt that they must be close, and Heather too, because of the energies she was able to pick up.

"We're an hour out, so I'll pack up and we'll be there soon." Dean sounded a bit more sure of himself.

"Dean, you tell Sam that I said it's going to be okay. See you soon and drive safe." Missouri hoped that Dean wouldn't drive like a bat out of hell to get to her.

"Okay, see ya soon." And the phone clicked off. She could tell that Dean was relieved as he let her go, confident in the fact she could help Sam.

Missouri just hoped that she wouldn't let that trust down.

TBC

A/N: Thanks for all the wonderful reviews. More soon!


	5. Chapter 5

I'll Be Watching You Chapter 5

Summary: Sam comes face to face with his past, and must deal with his buried feelings over the trauma he suffered eight years ago. Sequel to Every Breath You Take. Takes place directly after Home. Co-Written by Sendintheclowns and beta'd by Floralia.

Dean hustled around the room, gathering up their stuff and thrusting it quickly into bags. His eyes surreptitiously followed Sam as his brother almost casually repacked his belongings, his body still coping with the last vestiges of pain from Heather's assault.

The bitch.

But pain didn't seem to be the only thing slowing his brother down. Dean had made a hobby out of studying Sam during his lifetime and he was dead certain Sam was puzzling through some problem and purposefully dragging his feet.

When he caught Sam holding the laptop in his hands, a vague expression on his face, Dean decided it was time to intervene. "Something you'd like to share with the class there, Sammy?"

Sam's face slowly bloomed a bright pink before it receded, leaving his brother's face even more pale and drawn than before. Dean's long limbed brother sank gracelessly onto a bed, dumping the forgotten laptop on the mattress, before cradling his head in his hands.

Dean was beside his brother in a moment. "Sam? What's wrong with you?"

He inwardly cursed his lack of tact but Dean's concern had ratcheted up a notch and he wasn't feeling too glib at the moment; his concern for his brother outweighed everything.

When his brother's tightly coiled muscles relaxed and he peaked out from beneath his fringe, blinking wide, guileless eyes at Dean, he knew they wouldn't be going anywhere in the next little while. "I think I over did things a little. Do you mind if I rest a little longer before we leave for Missouri's?"

Awkwardly patting Sam on the shoulder, Dean forced himself to shift away. He didn't want to smother Sam but all of his instincts were screaming at him to grab up his little brother and run for cover. But then the thought of Heather sinking her claws into Sam again had that affect on him.

Eyes panning around the room, Dean saw that other than the laptop, everything was packed. He so didn't want to stick around Manhattan any longer but with Sam blinking wide, pain filled eyes at him, Dean didn't feel he had a choice. "Why don't you kick back and close your eyes for a while. I'll just watch the old boob tube for a while."

Without argument, Sam tipped himself back and threw his legs on top of the bed. It was the no arguing part that got to Dean; if his brother was rebounding from whatever Heather had done to him, he'd at least put up a token resistance. This being agreeable and compliant behavior was a bad sign.

Picking up the remote and turning the volume down low, Dean started flipping through the channels. He happened upon one of his favorite movies, Army of Darkness, and couldn't prevent the burst of laughter that spilled from his lips as Ash confronted the pit witch with the classic words, "Yo, she-bitch! Let's go!"

Sam huffed a sigh at the noise and flipped onto his side, stiffly giving his back to Dean. Dutifully turning down the volume, Dean couldn't stifle another round of laughter as Ash introduced the castle folk to his Remington double-barreled shotgun, or as the hero lovingly referred to it, his **_broomstick_**.

Out of the corner of his eye, Dean saw his little brother pull a shaking hand to his head. Although no verbal complaints were forthcoming, he knew if he stayed in the motel room he'd only bother Sam. And the quicker Sam felt better, the sooner they could leave.

Regretfully turning off the TV, Dean grabbed his wallet, cell phone and keys. Speaking softly so as not to cause Sam further pain, Dean explained where he was going. "I'm going down to the diner again to get us some food again since the burgers are inedible now. This time try not to have a fit while I'm gone, okay?"

No middle finger salute was forthcoming this time but Sam did lift a hand to acknowledge his words. Dean wasn't sure leaving the room was the best idea but his brother needed to rest and that wasn't going to happen while Dean was trapped in there, bored out of his mind. And Sam needed food, too. His brother hadn't been eating enough to sustain a super model these days so it was up to Dean to make sure he ate regularly.

Dean had always prided himself on taking care of Sam in regard to the little things as well as the big. He was truly in his element as he gently closed the motel door and headed toward the Impala.

-0-

As soon as Dean gunned the Impala's engine and peeled out of the parking lot, Sam sprang into action.

Booting up the laptop, he Googled the Heritage Ridge Apartments. Grabbing up the complimentary motel stationary and pen from the nightstand drawer, he quickly jotted down the address he remembered from his "dream" as well as directions on how to find the place.

He regretted the subterfuge but Sam had to do this – he had to confront Heather face to face. And there was no way Dean would let him do that. His brother was like a pit bull whose jaws had clamped around a tasty bone and wouldn't unlatch when it came to Heather; Dean didn't try to hide the fact that he wanted to salt and burn the dark haired beauty.

And Sam understood it because half the time he felt the same way. But the other half…let's just say he was conflicted when it came to their ex-neighbor.

Tearing off the paper, Sam grabbed his cell phone and shrugged into his jacket. He'd give Dean a call as soon as he was clear of the motel. He didn't want to make Dean worry excessively but he needed to get some distance between the two of them if he wanted to confront Heather in person.

-0-

Dean sat idling outside of the diner. He replayed the scene in the motel room over in his head. Something was off about Sam's behavior and he didn't think it was strictly caused by pain.

Even in the throes of a massive migraine, Sam was still able to make his needs known. "Put a cork in it" or "shut your pie hole" were phrases Sam had used in the past when Dean's tiptoeing around the room in deference to his little brother's pain wasn't good enough. His virgin ears had even blushed at a harsh "shut the fuck up, Dean" a time or two which always stopped Dean in his tracks because it was so rare his brother cursed.

So if Sam wasn't telling Dean what to do with his laughter then he was either experiencing pain on par with a vision in which case Dean shouldn't have left Sam alone or he was faking it.

Devious. Maddening. But not unheard of.

After all Sam was a Winchester and knew how to go about getting his way even if it meant conning his own brother.

There was only one way to find out and that was to do a little reconnaissance. Dean smoothly put the Impala in reverse and headed back to the motel room.

Dean tried not to bang the heavy door shut as he exited the Impala. Inserting the keycard to access the door made an unholy beep and Dean cringed, worried that if Sam had been safely dozing inside, he wouldn't be anymore.

But all his attempted stealth was for naught; Sam was gone.

Dean checked the bathroom and found it empty. There was no note on the bed. Nothing.

The laptop was in the middle of the bed and Dean retrieved it, booting it up. Maybe he could find a clue about where Sam had disappeared to although he was getting a sick feeling in his stomach that he knew; Sam had hared off to that damnable bitch.

Waiting for the laptop, Dean wandered the room trying to figure out if Sam had taken anything with him. His cell phone and jacket were missing but that's it. His idiot brother hadn't even taken a weapon.

Placing the laptop on the small table in the corner, Dean noticed a pad of motel stationary sitting out. And it hadn't been there when he'd left. With their lifestyle it paid to notice every little detail and he knew for a fact the paper hadn't been on the table when he left.

Digging clumsily in the nightstand drawer, Dean pulled his prize – a pencil. "Okay, little bro, where did you go?"

Lightly pressing the lead to paper, he filled the small page with pencil. When he was through, Dean ripped the top page off and held it up to the light. Heritage Ridge Apartments, 3108 Heritage Court. And the page even had directions on how to get there. How thoughtful of Sam.

Although the fact that Sam had been so careless just proved that his little brother was in the wrong frame of mind to talk to Heather. When it came to the beautiful kidnapper, Sam lost his ability to be rationale.

Not that Dean blamed him. And that's why Dean was around – to make sure Sam didn't make these stupid mistakes.

Grabbing up his gun and some holy water, Dean exited the motel room. He had a little brother to find.

-0-

Sam used the last of his money to pay the taxi. He'd hoofed it down the block in the other direction from the diner when he'd left the motel room and the pain flaring in his head had slowed him down. He hadn't quite worked out what he wanted to tell Dean when he called him so he concentrated on getting to the address he'd seen in his dream or vision or whatever it was where he'd connected with Heather.

Now he was standing a block down from the Heritage Ridge Apartments, trying to work up the courage to call Dean. He knew it was stupid going off on his own but he didn't want Dean to hear what he had to say to Heather.

He'd never told his family how he'd made himself sick in the hopes that Heather would do the right thing and get him help. And he'd never told his family how he'd craved Heather's touch long after his rescue.

Jess had taught him the wonders of love but Heather had taught him the delights of sex.

God, how he missed his Jess. She'd been his world. Kept him sane.

And then there was Heather.

His body had been a traitor and that thought still had the power to make his face burn with humiliation.

Shutting down the unhappy memories, Sam pulled out his cell and scrolled down the contact list until he found Dean's name. Still not sure what to say, he hit send and waited for his brother to pick up.

The opening strains of Enter Sandman chimed behind him and spinning around, Sam found himself staring into the angry face of his brother. "Looking for me?"

Sam terminated the call and slid his cell phone into his jacket pocket before holding up his arms in a placating gesture. "Dean, I know what you're going to say…"

Dean crossed his arms tightly across his chest, radiating danger. "That's really funny. Cause even I don't know what I'm going to say. Although you being psychic, maybe you **_do_** know. Why don't you tell me?"

Hurt curled tightly in his stomach at his brother's harsh words but Sam couldn't dispute Dean was right to be upset with him.

Pain spiked across his temples and spots danced across his eyes. He blinked, trying to clear both problems, but they persisted with a vengeance. "Nuh-huh. That's not going to work on me twice. Stop with the bad acting already and start talking. I want to hear why you gave me the slip."

The spots coalesced in the middle of his vision and he could no longer make out Dean's face. His brother's voice had that tinny quality to it, kind of like Sam's head was underwater.

A hand tightly grasped his upper arm and he found himself being drawn down the sidewalk. Feeling as though he was going to pass out, Sam bent over at the waist and gulped in air. A heavy car door grated open loudly and Sam found himself being bundled into it.

A calloused hand at the back of his neck pushed his head forward and Sam relaxed into it. Not sure how long he remained in that position, he finally heard Dean's voice speaking urgently to him. "Oh, no, not again. I'm hauling your ass to the nearest ER unless you snap out of it right now."

Feebly pushing off his thighs, Sam lifted his head and was pleasantly surprised that his vision had cleared. At least until he caught sight of his harried brother, freckles standing out starkly on the bridge of his nose, staring at him with deep concern. "I'm okay."

Sam grimaced at the sound of his own voice; it was barely audible and cracked with pain. It had a wobbly quality that did nothing to convince himself that he was okay so there was no way in hell it would convince Dean.

His legs were lifted and he found himself shifted so that he faced forward. He braced a hand on the dashboard as the world spun lazily around him. The passenger door was slammed with authority and before Sam could register what was happening, Dean was in the driver's seat and twisting the ignition. "No, wait, Heather …"

Impatient hands pulled the seatbelt around him, anchoring him place. The hands gentled as they settled on his face and tilted his head until he was staring at this brother. "I think Heather can wait a little longer. "

Sam squeezed his eyes shut in frustration. Once again his body was betraying him.

When hair was smoothed from his face he blinked his eyes open. Unease set in as Sam saw the stirrings of panic on his brother's face. Maybe he wasn't up to this after all.

-0-

Dean had parked a block away from the apartment building where he suspected Heather lived. Or more importantly, Sam suspected it.

As he scoped out the area he noticed a tall, geeky guy in a khaki jacket standing on the sidewalk, fiddling with his cell phone. Sam.

Climbing out of the Impala, Dean headed for his brother. Before he could reach him, his phone went off and Sam whirled around looking like a kid whose hand had been caught in the cookie jar.

Sam clumsily thrust his cell phone into his pocket and held his arms up as though he were afraid Dean was going to hit him. Which really wasn't too far off the mark at the moment. The little weasel had given him the slip after all. "Dean, I know what you're going to say…"

Crossing his arms tightly across his chest, Dean smiled a tight smile. He managed to keep his voice from shaking with anger but just barely. "That's really funny. Cause even I don't know what I'm going to say. Although you being psychic, maybe you do know. Why don't you tell me?"

When Sam remained silent and dragged a hand across his face, grimacing in pain, Dean narrowed his eyes. He was not going to let himself be played again. "Nuh-huh. That's not going to work on me twice. Stop with the bad acting already and start talking. I want to hear why you gave me the slip."

Sam blinked several times and shook his head, his skin bleaching out to a pallid shade more befitting a zombie. Shit, his little brother wasn't faking it this time.

Wrapping a hand around Sam's arm, Dean dragged him toward the Impala hoping like hell no one would notice them. He also hoped his brother wouldn't pass out as Sam's steps staggered and Dean found himself taking more of his weight as he steered him toward the car.

Propping Sam up against the side of the car, Dean pulled the door open and deposited his brother on the passenger seat. It didn't seem possible but Sam's skin lost even more color, his lips turning a light gray, so Dean pushed Sam's head down.

His brother didn't fight him and in fact remained motionless under his hand. Putting a finger under Sam's chin, he tilted his brother's face up and took note of the unfocused eyes at half mast. Sam might not have lost his fight completely with consciousness but at least one foot was firmly placed on that side.

Letting Sam's head drop back down, Dean lightly rubbed at the back of his brother's neck. When that still didn't net him a response, Dean's protective instincts overwhelmed him. "Oh, no, not again. I'm hauling your ass to the nearest ER unless you snap out of it right now."

His voice was shaky with panic and he took a calming breath. Sam needed him to be in control. Especially since Sam wasn't capable of looking after himself at the moment.

His brother lifted his face and straightened with the agility of an arthritic octogenarian. Sam's color was better but his eyes were having tracking. "I'm okay."

Sam was determined to be a Winchester today and if Dean weren't so worried, he'd be administering a fillip to his little brother's forehead; Sam's voice was wreaked and anything but okay.

Willing to take advantage of Sam's upright state, Dean swung his sibling's loose limbs into the car and slammed the door shut. As he entered the driver's side he took in the way Sam's right hand was braced against the dashboard as he pulled deep breaths into his lungs.

Shoving the key into the ignition he turned to assess Sam again before deciding whether he'd take him back to the motel room or the ER. "No, wait, Heather …"

Disgusted that Heather still had the ability to ruin Sam's life, Dean jerkily reached across his brother and drew the seatbelt tightly over him, snapping it into place.

His brother stiffened and tried to pull away, stymied by the restrictive belt. Carefully touching Sam's face to as not to startle him, he turned his dazed brother's head until he could look into his eyes. He tried hard to moderate his tone but he wasn't sure he exceeded because just the thought of the dark haired bitch set his teeth on edge. "I think Heather can wait a little longer. "

His little brother wilted back against the seat, squeezing his eyes shut. For one horrifying moment, Dean was afraid tears would leak from Sam's eyes. He was always at a loss as to what to do with his brother when he got emotional.

Fingering a strand of hair and pulling it back from Sam's face, Dean was satisfied that his brother's color was better. Certainly not blooming with health but the freshly dead look had finally lifted.

Sam's eyes sprang open and looked at Dean with confusion.

Damn it. Dean didn't mind admitting to himself that he liked when Sam leaned on him but his little brother should never look like this, wan and defeated.

Dean vowed he'd do whatever it took to get Sam healthy and then rid that scheming bitch from Sam's life. Permanently.

TBC

A/N: Thanks for reading and especially those of you leaving reviews! More soon!


	6. Chapter 6

I'll Be Watching You

Summary: Sam comes face to face with his past, and must deal with his buried feelings over the trauma he suffered eight years ago. Sequel to Every Breath You Take. Takes place directly after Home. Co-written Sendintheclowns and beta'd by Floralia.

Chapter 6

Heather was pacing her apartment. Her mind was in turmoil at the mess she had caused once again in Sam Winchester's life.

When she had envisioned Sam being in danger, her intentions had been to help him. Now her interference in his life was only causing him pain, and it made her sick. She should have realized that Sam was a powerful psychic now, and that linking with him wouldn't be a simple in and out occurrence.

Sam had stubbornly stayed linked to Heather and like a pit bull he wouldn't let go, even though it was causing him pain. She wasn't sure if it was a conscious choice on his part, but unfortunately without his help she wasn't able to shut it down.

She just hoped that Dean would drag his brother away because physical distance was the only other way to break this link. It was apparent that Dean hadn't been successful yet in fleeing with his brother because the link was still very strong, and had been a lot stronger only moments ago.

Heather knew that Sam had tried to seek her out and was either stopped by his big brother or had changed his mind about confronting her.

Part of Heather had hoped for a confrontation. A chance to confess her sins and to be punished or forgiven. The other part of her couldn't bear to see her beloved again, especially in pain from their link.

This couldn't go on. Heather couldn't bear her one true love in pain, and if their link wasn't severed soon she had decided to put distance between them by leaving.

It was a painful thought, to be on the run again, but for her love she would gladly do it.

-0-

Dean had wanted to run to Missouri and severe the link between his brother and the psychic bitch, but he realized that ending the link didn't mean that she wouldn't come after Sam again. Dean knew where to find her and if he acted quickly he could end this once and for all. Kill the bitch and end the problem.

Dean pulled up the motel and gave his brother a good look. What he saw wasn't good: his brother's arms were wrapped around himself and he could see that the boy was trembling like an addict going through withdrawal.

It hurt him so much to see Sam this way, and he comforted himself in the knowledge that this would end soon. Dean took a deep breath and got out of the car and rushed around to the passenger side to help his ailing brother out of the car.

Sam barely acknowledged Dean as he pulled his little brother from the car. The distant look in Sam's eyes took Dean back to their first encounter with Heather. It was the same look Sam had after he had spent time with their evil neighbor.

This was not happening again, not on Dean's watch.

It was a struggle but Dean was able to get Sam back in the room and situated on his bed. His brother's unfocused eyes were staring blankly at the ceiling.

Dean began to pace as he tried to collect his thoughts. He knew that in order to save his brother he needed to kill Heather. But he was afraid to leave his ailing brother alone.

It occurred to Dean that he could take Sam with him, but it made him sick to even consider letting that bitch see Sam again. No, he needed to kill Heather but he needed to go alone.

It was a hard decision but in the end Dean knew that his only choice was to leave his brother alone long enough to kill Heather. It shouldn't take him long, and in the end Sam would benefit from the action.

Dean knew that the biggest mistake he and his father had made last time was putting Sam first and ignoring the future threat that Heather would pose for him. It was a mistake that Dean would not repeat.

Dean sighed as he headed out to the Impala. He quickly opened the trunk and grabbed a set of handcuffs from his arsenal of supplies and weapons. It pained him to have to restrain his brother, but he couldn't afford to take the chance of his brother trying to stop him.

He slowly opened the door, and hoped that Sam was still out of it enough to not fight him.

His hope was dashed the minute he shut the motel door.

"D-Dean?" Sam was struggling to sit up in bed.

"Hey Sammy, are you feeling better? Do you need anything?" Dean quickly stuffed the cuffs in his back pocket as he approached Sam.

Sam gave Dean a small smile as he leaned heavily against the headboard. "Could you get me some water?"

"Sure thing kiddo." Dean made a quick bid to grab a glass of water from the bathroom and made his way to the edge of Sam's bed. He slowly lowered himself and handed over the glass of water.

Sam made quick work of the water and handed it back to Dean with a grateful smile on his face.

"Thanks Dean. I'm feeling a bit better. I-I want to apologize for sneaking out earlier." Sam gave Dean a remorseful puppy dog expression.

"Don't worry about it Sammy. You did what you thought you had to do. I understand that, and I can forgive you for that. I just hope that you can forgive me." Sam gave Dean a confused look.

It was hard for Dean to take action against his ailing and weak brother, but he knew it had to be done. Before Sam's woozy mind could wrap itself around what was happening, Dean had his little brother's right wrist handcuffed to the headboard. Dean quickly jumped up from the bed and gave his startled brother and apologetic look.

"Dean! What the hell?" Sam was struggling against the cuffs as much as his newly weakened state would allow.

"Sammy, stop struggling. I need to take care of Heather. You can't go on like this- it's going to kill you and I can't let that happen. I'll be back as soon as I can." Dean made a dash out of the room blocking out the protests coming from his distraught little brother.

It was hard leaving Sam like that, but it had to be done. Dean had a bitch he needed to hunt.

-0-

Sam struggled with the cuff around his right wrist but it wouldn't budge and he was running out of time. It would only take Dean a few minutes to reach Heather.

Part of him wanted Dean to take Heather out and to end his nightmare, but there was a part of him that still cared for her and didn't want her hurt. His emotions were at war but there was one thing he was sure of. He needed to confront Heather, in order to heal from his past ordeal. If Dean killed her he would lose that chance.

Sam knew what he needed to do. He needed to warn Heather because her only chance to escape death was to run.

Laying back on the bed, Sam took a calming breath and closed his eyes and focused on contacting his former abductor.

_Heather? Can you hear me? Please this is important?_

_**Sam, I'm here are you okay?**_

_I'm fine, but listen. Dean is coming for you. He wants to hurt you- you need to leave now!_

_**Sam, I'm tired of running, of trying to repent. I've spent years trying to make up for the pain I've caused by helping others- but the guilt is still there. I welcome the end of this torment at the hands of your brother. It is only right.**_

_No! It's not right- please… if you die … how will I ever get past this?_

_**Sam it is important to me that you forgive me or at least try- so that you can heal. I'm so sorry - what I did was so wrong.**_

_We don't have time for this, you need to leave now. Dean will be there any minute._

_**Listen to me Sam, you need to let me go. This link we have is hurting you and I'm afraid that if we are still linked when your brother comes- that anything he does to me- you will feel it. I can't risk you being hurt again because of me. You need to let me go.**_

_No, this is how we stop Dean. You tell him that if he hurts you - then he will hurt me. He won't hurt you then._

_**Sam, he might not believe me- I can't risk you getting hurt.**_

_Not your choice. Either you run or you face Dean while linked to me. So what are you going to do?_

_**Damn, I hear your brother at the door. Let go of me Sam! Please!**_

_No- have Dean call me- please!_

_-0-_

Heather didn't answer, and Sam guessed that it was because she was now to busy confronting his angry brother.

Sam knew that he had put himself at serious risk, but he didn't care. If Heather died before he could talk to her, then his chance to move on with his life would die too. Sam was also concerned for his brother. He didn't want his brother to have to live with the guilt of killing Heather in heat of the moment.

If he could only talk to Dean, then maybe he could make him understand. With his left hand, he fumbled with his jacket pocket trying to locate his cell phone. Once he had the phone in his hand he hit speed dial. It was no surprise when the line went straight to voice mail.

-0-

Dean wanted to bust Heather's door down and scare the bitch but he couldn't afford to draw attention to himself. Instead he opted to pick the lock, but when he bent down to do so he noticed that the door was unlocked.

He stood up and took a deep breath. Standing there trying to plan his next move, he remembered how his bohemian ex-neighbor had never locked her doors in the past.

Dean grabbed the door knob in one hand and positioned his gun in the other. He was not sure how to kill a psychic vampire, but hope that a gun would at least slow her down. There was a machete strapped to his waist in case she was like a true vampire and needed to be beheaded in order to die.

With a quick thrust Dean pushed the door open and pointed the gun. He immediately spotted the object of his hunt sitting cross legged on a couch in front of him. Her hands raised in surrender.

"Time to end this bitch!" Dean shouted at her as he kicked the door closed behind him.

"I agree Dean. You won't need the machete by the way, a gun will do the deed and it's less messy. I'm human enough for it to work. However, before you pull the trigger, your brother wanted me to tell you something." Heather's voice was calm though her eyes betrayed her fear.

Dean couldn't stand the fact that Heather had the nerve to bring Sam up. He stormed across the room and before he realized his intentions, he had slapped her hard across the face.

"You leave Sam out of this!" Dean glared at Heather as she wiped the blood from the corner of her mouth. Her allusion of calm was now gone.

"I wish I could leave him out of this and just let you end it all now. The problem is Dean, he and I are still linked and I'm afraid of what will happen if you kill me while he is linked to me." Heather's voice was shaky and full of fear.

"Then let him go- NOW!" Dean wanted to hurt her so much for hurting Sam, but he knew he needed to keep those feelings in check in order to stay on top of his game.

"I wish I could, but he has to do it." Heather was now sobbing.

"You're lying to me. I'll kill you and he'll be fine." Dean watched as she violently shook her head no.

"I'm not. Please Dean, just call your brother and talk to him. One call, and then you can do what you need to do. I'm begging you, do this for Sam. Please." Heather's tone was full of panic and fear.

Dean didn't believe her but was afraid of totally ignoring her pleas. She had pushed his big brother protection buttons and Dean needed to reassure himself that Sammy was okay.

Keeping the gun trained on Heather, Dean slowly grabbed his cell phone out of his jacket. He watched as her body seemed to sag with relief as he hit speed dial.

"Sammy, are you okay?" Dean found himself screaming out as soon as he heard the other line pick up.

"No Dean, I'm not okay. You hit her didn't you?" Sam voice was full of anger and fear.

Dean felt his stomach cramp as his mind processed Sam's question. "How did you know I hit her Sammy?"

"I felt it Dean. Does she have a split lip- 'cause I'm now sporting one?"

"Damit Sam, I'm so sorry. I didn't know." Dean felt the guilt welling up in him.

"I didn't know until I talked with Heather before you got there. As long as she and I are linked, if you hurt her, I'll feel it." Sam's voice was quite and withdrawn and that was more frightening to Dean than the anger he'd heard before.

"Don't worry Sammy, I'll make her break the link." Dean used a soothing tone with Sam, the same one that came out anytime his brother was upset.

"I'm the one in control of it, but I'll need her help to break it. I can't on my own."

Dean felt the anger swell back up in him. "No way Sam. I'm not letting her anywhere near you. I'll tie her up and we will head to Missouri's house. She can help you break the link and then I'll finish off Heather."

"No Dean, you don't understand, I need to see Heather. Please! I need to confront her and my fears of the past. You can't take that away from me Dean. You can't and if you do, how am I ever supposed to heal?"

Sam sounded so broken and that broke Dean. As Sam's big brother, he didn't like the idea of letting Sam near Heather, but Sam's broken voice reminded him of how Sam had never really healed from his first encounter. Maybe it was time to end things with Heather in more ways than just one. Sam needed to confront the bitch and his feelings.

"Okay Sammy, you win. I don't like it but you win. Let me tie Heather up and I'll come get you." And with that Dean clicked off the phone.

"Alright bitch, you've bought yourself a little time. I want you to move over to the kitchen chairs and sit down in one. Don't you dare try anything!" Dean pointed the gun at her as she rose slowly from the couch.

Heather didn't speak, she slowly moved to the kitchen where she pulled out a chair and sat down in it. Dean had been surprised when she hadn't tried anything but then he remembered how obsessed the sick vamp was when it came to his brother. She was probably hoping for Sam to show up before she made her move, so that she could escape once again with his brother.

That wouldn't be happening this time- but if it got her to co-operate, Dean would let her have her false hope.

Dean reached in his jacket and pulled out some rope and set about securing her wrists and ankles to the chair. Once he was satisfied that she wasn't going anywhere, he moved towards the front door.

"Now sit tight, and I'll be back real soon so we can play." And with that Dean slammed the door shut.

-0-

As soon as Dean left Heather contacted Sam.

_**Sam, sweetie your brother just left.**_

_Good, I'm sorry he hit you. I mean, I thought in the past that I wanted to make you suffer for what you did, but when it became reality…. I just don't know what I want anymore. _

_**I deserve to be hit, and punished for what I did. It was so wrong Sam, and there is no way I can make it up to you. I'm just sorry that you were hurt when your brother hit me.**_

_Maybe Dean's right and you are evil and need to be stopped. I just want to be sure it's the right thing to do._

_**Sam I'm not sure what evil is. I may be it. I still feed you know. I have too. It has to be humans. Or I'll die. I haven't killed anyone since Tom, but I do feed. I try to balance things out, I work hard to help others and only feed when I have too.**_

_So you feed on others- but how do you pick your victims? God, I can't do this._

_**Then don't Sam, we unlink and then Dean ends this. It'll be okay.**_

_Heather, Dean's here, we'll talk again soon._

_-0-_

Sam watched as his brother bolted into the room and headed straight to the bed. Dean made quick work of the cuffs and had Sam's chin tilted as he studied it before Sam could process what was happening.

"Sammy, I'm so sorry." Dean's face was full of concern as he took in the damage he had indirectly inflicted on his brother.

"I'm fine Dean. But I need you to listen to me, okay?" Sam was pleased to see his brother nod in agreement as he sat back down on the bed.

"I'm all ears Sammy!"

"Good. I'm not sure how to say this, because I'm pretty shook up at the moment. But I need to talk to Heather, and I need to have some questions answered. Part of me is okay with Heather being taken out, especially if she is still hurting people. But I need to be sure that she is a threat in order for me to be alright with that plan of action. Do you understand Dean?" Sam gave Dean his pleading puppy dog look hoping to sway his brother over.

"I'm not sure I agree, but I understand the need. I won't deny you a chance to confront Heather, that much I can promise." Dean's face was set in determination. "But she hurt you and as it stands now, she appears to be a threat to you. It'll take a lot to convince me that she is worth saving."

Sam nodded in agreement. "I just want us to take our time with this, and I want some time to talk to her alone."

Dean flinched at that statement and his eyes flared with anger. "No way Sammy, it ain't happening."

Sam gave his brother a determined look. The patented stubborn Winchester scowl. "Dean, I have things in my head that haunt me. Things that I need to share with her in order to heal. You have to understand that."

Dean looked at Sam in shock. "What did she do to you Sammy? Oh God!"

Sam blushed and looked away. "She hurt me in ways I've never shared and I don't know if I'll ever be able to share, but in order to heal… I just need to confront her. Dean, please."

Dean gave Sam a watery smile. "Okay kiddo, whatever you need, I'll do it. I don't like it but I'll do it. I just hope that when this is all over, you'll feel comfortable enough to talk things over with me."

Sam returned the watery smile. "Says the king of sharing your feelings."

"Bitch."

"Jerk."

"Fine, let's get this show on the road Sammy." Dean held his hand out to help Sam up.

Sam still felt the effects of the link and was a bit dizzy on his feet, all to glad to have his brother's physical support.

The realization that Sam was about to confront feelings and hurt that he had hidden for years terrified him, but he knew that with his brother in his corner he would survive.

TBC

A/N: Thanks for reading, reviews are loved!


	7. Chapter 7

I'll Be Watching You – Chapter 7

Summary: Sam comes face to face with his past, and must deal with his buried feelings over the trauma he suffered eight years ago. Sequel to Every Breath You Take. Takes place directly after Home. Co-written Sendintheclowns and beta'd by Floralia.

Warning- This chapter contains a graphic sexual situation that could be considered non consensual in nature.

Dean helped tug Sam out of the Impala and draped his brother's arm around his shoulder. Sam kept telling him he was alright but Dean wasn't buying it.

A young couple walked by, hands tucked into each other's back pockets, and gave the Winchesters a weird look. The guy, nose and eyebrow pierced, pink hair scraped into a point on top of his head, sneered at Dean. "Get a room why don't you."

Incredulous that this young punk was hassling him for helping his brother, Dean expressed some of his frustration at the overall situation. Flipping them off he growled, "Right back at ya, you freaks."

Dean was sick of people calling his sexuality into question. It only happened when he was around Sam; for some reason the low life population they were forced into contact with assumed they had a relationship other than strictly brothers. It didn't seem to faze Sam but it bugged the crap out of Dean.

But right now Dean had bigger fish to fry.

Sneaking a peek at his little brother, Dean was part relieved and part worried that Sam wasn't chastising him for his behavior. His eyes were glazed and he appeared out of it.

Heather had a lot to own up to if Dean had his way.

And that was a part of the problem; Dean couldn't have his way – throttling Heather, or better yet putting a bullet in her deceitful brain – while Sam was physically linked to the psychic vamp wench.

Startled out of his thoughts when Sam began to speak, Dean almost steered them into the wall of the apartment building atrium. "Thanks, Dean."

His brother's voice was low, raw, full of exhaustion. But when hazel eyes filled with sincerity blinked up at Dean, he couldn't say no. His little brother had been through too much in his short life. Dean would let him get some closure – sucking up the emo for Sam's sake – and then Heather would get what she had coming to her.

Maneuvering Sam awkwardly up the stairwell, Dean pushed the door to Heather's apartment open and gave Sam a tiny shove until both brothers were inside of enemy territory. Propelling Sam through the living room, into the kitchen, Dean glared at the woman – and he used that term loosely because in his mind Heather was nothing less than a monster – before he pulled out a kitchen chair and settled Sam into it.

Dean's attention flipped between the dark haired snake of a woman, who was making goo goo eyes at his brother, and Sam, who absently touched his split lip as he stared at Heather.

"Sam."

There was longing in Heather's voice and it made Dean want to slap her. Again.

Glancing back at his brother, Dean noticed how he slouched in the hard wooden chair, wilting, until his head rested awkwardly on the kitchen table, right arm splayed across the table top as though grasping for something. "Dean, we need to break the link now. I'm…not going to last for much longer."

Sam was out of breath, his skin gray, as he beseeched Dean for help. "I know, Sammy, that's why we're here."

Fine brown strands of hair shifted across Sam's face, hiding his brother's eyes from Dean. "Need her help…please, Dean…"

His little brother's body completely relaxed when he uttered that last syllable and Dean's distrust of Heather was replaced by all encompassing worry for Sam. "Sammy?! What do I do?"

Sam's chest barely moved up and down and his lips were turning an interesting color; when his baby brother turned six, the homeroom mother had brought in cupcakes decorated with blue frosting and when Dean had showed at the end of the school day to pick up Sam, he'd nearly gone into cardiac arrest when he saw the unnatural shade of blue lips. Zombies had blue lips. Ghouls had blue lips. Baby brothers didn't have blue lips.

Except Sam's lips were definitely turning blue now and all other color had been leeched from his skin. His brother was in dire straits and Dean had no choice but to turn to Heather. "Do something!"

Heather's eyes were wide as she stared at the brothers. Chest heaving as though she'd been running a sprint, she turned her full attention on Sam. "It's my fault. I haven't fed and because of the link, he's feeling the effects."

Dean didn't want to hear regret in her voice or see the remorse evident in her brown stare. He wanted Sam back. "Fix it."

Startled brown eyes swung Dean's way. "Without feeding, I'm too weak to help him break the link; I'm so sorry. This is all my fault."

In five long strides, Dean stood in front of the bound Heather, and grabbed her face between his hands in a brutal grip. "It is your fault and you're going to make it right. Feed off me, bitch, but if you pull anything I'm going to slice your throat."

Reaching into the inside pocket of his leather jacket, Dean withdrew his Hibben Cord Grip Throwing Knife and slashed the rope binding her left arm to her body; the rest of the ropes remained in place ensuring that she couldn't move anything save the one arm. "DO IT!"

Dean was at the end of his tether. He could hear Sam's ragged breaths, and the exhaustion was echoed in the face of the whore in front of him. But he didn't care about Heather except as it pertained to keeping Sam healthy.

He pushed the knife against Heather's neck and let the sharp blade nick her. Dean meant business.

Startled out of her stupor, Heather raised her left hand until it hovered in front of Dean's solar plexus. "This is the power chakra. I'm tapping into your energy. It won't hurt; you should feel a little tickle. That's it, just a little more. There. Thank you, Dean."

Long lashes fluttered at Dean, Heather's doe eyes regaining their sparkle. Her skin regained its luster, her lips deepened to a cherry red and even her hair appeared softer and more vibrant.

Stepping back so that he was out of Heather's reach, Dean's attention returned to his downed sibling. Sam's breath was still labored, his skin ashen, lips blue. "Shit, what do I do? Tell me, dammit!"

Expecting to see Heather's face gloating, Dean wasn't prepared for the grief he saw in her expressive eyes. "Hurry, he doesn't have long. I need to touch him to break the link."

He sure as hell didn't trust the little tramp but Dean was out of options. Sliding his right arm behind Sam's back and his left under Sam's legs, Dean scooped his brother up and against his chest.

Rapidly crossing to Heather, Dean dropped to a knee, lowering Sam gently to the ground, propping his brother against his chest. He steadied Sam's head when his neck dropped forward, completely lax in Dean's arms. "Do not fuck around here or I will end you."

Heather pushed against her bonds and stretched her free hand out, ghosting it over Sam's forehead. "Come on baby, I know you can do this."

Dean didn't care much for Heather whispering sweet endearments to his unconscious brother but before he could voice an objection, a jolt spasmed down the bitch's arm. "Oh!"

The brown circling Heather's pupils shrank until the centers of her eyes were wide, black chasms. Heather's hand lightly traveled down the front of Sam's body until it landed on his brother's abdomen. "Sam, you need to break our bond…now!"

Heather's voice was low and breathy, more sultry than Dean remembered, and that was saying something. The blatant want in her voice made a shiver climb up his spine.

Trying to ignore his body's response to Heather, Dean shifted the dead weight in his arms, moving Sam closer to the woman who had kidnapped him all those years ago; his brother's color was improving and Dean wanted to make it easier for Heather to give Sam what he needed. But he kept an eye on her.

Despite the fact that Heather was now arching suggestively against the ropes binding her to the chair.

Dean's breathing picked up pace and he slumped back against the wall as the blood pooled in his downstairs brain. His skin was tingling and he was sporting an impressive boner. "Heather, fuck, stop…"

His words rumbled to a stop as his body hitched and quivered, intense sensation flooding through his core. Dean blinked his eyes and tried to glare at Heather but he only succeeded in parting his lips and panting softly.

And that's when Dean became intensely aware of the body in his arms.

Sam's head was tipped back over Dan's right arm, his throat exposed, bruises still livid against his pale skin. His brother's lower extremities were spread wide, miles of long legs stretching out across the kitchen floor. Sam's right arm was draped back over Dean's right arm and his left somehow managed to rest on Dean's left thigh.

But it was Sam's ass that was causing Dean the most consternation. It was a persistent weight wedged up against his own cock and with each breath Dean took, he felt the most delicious rub across his sensitized flesh. Warm flesh, that's all that mattered at the moment, not that it was Sam. It could have been anyone and Dean would have reacted the same way. But damn, it was Sam.

A hum filled the air, or at least Dean's ears. Back against the wall, legs spread, his brother's weight leaning against him, Dean gave in to his body's demands.

Flexing the muscles in his legs, Dean jerked his hips forward and groaned as his cock dragged across Sam's tight buttocks.

Sam.

This was his little brother in his arms, the person he loved more than anyone in the world, and Dean was violating him.

Nausea churned in his stomach and he forced his body to relax. He thought he could hear Heather moaning but he was too intent on fighting his own body, getting it under control. Dean had a fleeting thought that when Sam was better, he was going to take pleasure in dismembering the raven haired witch. Not just for everything she'd done to Sam, but for making his body act this way.

Dean loved women. He had absolutely no doubts that he was 100 heterosexual. However, the energy pulsing through his body made him want to rut and Sam was in his arms. Sam whose hair smelled mildly fruity as Dean thrust his nose into the strands at the curve of Sam's neck, nuzzling his throat. Sam who was unconscious and couldn't protect himself.

_Stop!_ His mind rebelled but his body wouldn't be denied.

The hum become louder, pervasive, as it filled his head. Electricity licked across his skin.

Unable to stop, Dean's hips bucked forward again. The body in his arms lifted and then heavily resettled. Right across Dean's groin.

Of their own volition, Dean's hands frantically gripped the hips settled across his lap and squeezed tight. Legs spread wide, heels scrabbling for purchase, back braced against the wall, Dean fell into a pumping rhythm; his own hands forced the muscular globes down onto his cock in a crushing grip while his own hips surged forward mindlessly, bouncing the pliant body and grinding it down to create the perfect friction.

Sparks danced at the edge of his visions as Dean's body was rocked by pulse after pulse of mind numbing pleasure.

A shimmer filled the air, crackling, as Dean moaned his ecstasy.

Unable to withstand the intense sensations, Dean's eyes rolled up into the back of his head and he passed out. His body tilted along the wall until he landed on his left side, warm body still secured tightly against his chest, his right hand unconsciously coming to rest on top of the jean encased cock of his brother.

-0-

Heather blew her breath out in a hearty gust and her bangs flew out in all directions before settling back around her face is disarray.

Wow.

That had never happened to her before.

Of course she'd never been connected with someone for as long as she had been with Sam, and she'd also never been connected with such a strong psychic before.

Sam might not have completely come in to his powers but they were lurking just below the surface, ready to be tapped into. And boy, had she hit the mother lode when she tapped.

Heather had reached forward to access Sam's third eye, in the middle of the forehead, and if she'd been standing she would have been blown off her feet, such was the burst of power she received when she made that initial connect.

Although if she'd had her wits about her she might have guessed something out of the ordinary would occur; Sam was a strong psychic, stronger than even Heather had suspected, and the link they had forged was incredible. The explosion of energy had been a doozy.

Even though Sam had been passed out in his brother's arms, he had subconsciously refocused her powers to the second chakra which housed passion and sexuality. Her hand had moved of its own volition from above his forehead down to his abdomen.

His flat, super toned abs.

And her soul mate, because that's what Sam would always be to her, had just about blown the barn door off its hinges with the surge of energy they'd generated.

She was pretty certain they had Sam to thank for that display of power because Heather had learned at a young age how to wield her "gift"; Sam, however, was still completely untutored. They were lucky no one had been seriously hurt. At least she didn't think they were hurt. Sam seemed to have remained unaware through the encounter but Heather knew she and Dean had gotten a rush unlike any other.

Heather almost felt sorry for Dean, who had become an unwilling third party to the exchange. Well, almost sorry because really, Dean had been an ass to her. Overbearing. Close minded.

She could understand his overzealousness to protect his brother but Dean had been willing to waste her without getting the full story. A part of Heather agreed that she deserved to pay a steep price for kidnapping Sam all those years ago, but since then she'd turned her life around.

And in turn Sam's blast of energy had turned Dean's life around, and Heather would bet not in a good sense, at least in Dean's eyes. He'd been supporting Sam's unconscious body and due to his proximity, and lack of a filter, had taken a hit of undiluted power.

Dean had acted like someone who had just main-lined some heroin; his body was no longer his to control and he'd panicked with that realization. Until panic had given way to pure unadulterated lust.

Lust that had taken on a life of its own and been aimed at the closest living being around – his brother.

Ragged breathing penetrated her thoughts and Heather realized it was her making the noise. Sam had not only revved Dean's engines with his energy, but he'd gotten to Heather as well.

Pushing against the ropes she felt them give; she wouldn't be surprised if their little exhibition hadn't melted down her bindings. With a little more pressure the ropes gave way completely and Heather slithered out of them and shakily rose to her feet.

When Dean had wilted under the intensity of the assault, he'd flopped onto his left side, taking his brother with him. The connection, both mental and physical, had finally been broken when he pulled Sam away from Heather.

Now the older brother was protectively spooning the younger brother. It almost looked sweet and innocent.

Unless you looked closely and noticed Dean's left hand ruthlessly pinning Sam to his chest and his right hand tightly cupping Sam's cock.

Through the pleasurable haze clouding her own judgment, Heather had been privileged to witness Dean coming undone while clutching his brother. Those memories, along with seeing the brothers in their current position, reignited Heather's libido.

_Dean holding Sam's body against his chest, nuzzling his neck._

_Dean's legs straddled wide, head knocking into the wall, grinding into Sam._

_Dean anchoring Sam's hips in his big hands, gyrating his own hips to generate friction and pressure until desire blew his mind._

Heather wondered briefly about the chances of engaging the men before her in a ménage a trois and that's when she knew she'd gone too far; Sam was all she needed. She'd known that from the first time she set eyes on him.

Although at the moment Sam looked like he was in need of something other than hot monkey sex. He was lying on the hard linoleum, his neck cricked at an odd angle, Dean still hugging him tightly back against his chest despite their unconscious states.

Ignoring the desire flaring in her core, Heather leaned over and tried to untangle the limbs in front of her. She had a fight on her hands as Dean's right hand didn't want to release its grip on Sam's shaft. Not wanting to, but not seeing another choice, Heather touched Dean's wrist and called upon her "gift" so she could force his hand loose.

It had been days since Heather's last feeding and she'd expected accessing her powers so quickly would leave her depleted, but she discovered energy was zinging wildly through her body.

Sam was potent, addictive even, and Heather couldn't wait to taste him again.

But only if he consented. She would never force herself on him again.

TBC

A/N: We just wanted to state, this is not a Wincest story. This story will not go in that direction, but the actions taken in this chapter will lead to lots of angst on Dean's part.

Thanks for reading and we'd love to hear what you think!


	8. Chapter 8

IBWY – Chapter 8

Summary: Sam comes face to face with his past, and must deal with his buried feelings over the trauma he suffered eight years ago. Sequel to Every Breath You Take. Takes place directly after Home. Co-written Sendintheclowns and beta'd by Floralia.

Heather needed to make Sam more comfortable.

And get him away from his brother.

The thought was wrong and she knew it, but she had to get Sam to herself. It was as simple as that.

Moving Sam carefully away from Dean to gain some separation, she took a moment to smooth soft, silky strands from his face. It made her fingers itch to run along the rest of his body, his muscular, toned, hard body, but she forced herself to deal with Dean. There was no way she could leave him unconscious on her kitchen floor, not if she had a snowball's chance in hell of Sam talking to her. Or doing other things to her.

Using her more than human strength — courtesy of the mega feeding she'd just undergone — Heather twisted Dean onto his back and grabbed his hands, tugging until he was away from Sam. Next she levered Dean's upper body up until she could slide her arms beneath his armpits and tug him backward.

It should have left her breathless and shaking but Heather discovered the high she was on hadn't diminished, and she made short work of dragging Dean into the living room and flopping him onto the couch. If she'd been in a better mood she would have removed his leather jacket and made him more comfortable. She decided to leave well enough alone; if she started fiddling with his clothes she might slip up and do something she'd regret. He was an exceedingly attractive male.

But he wasn't Sam.

And Sam needed her attention.

With that single thought driving her, Heather padded back into the kitchen and kneeled down next to Sam. "Sam, sweetie, can you hear me?"

She carefully rubbed his cheek before picking up a hand, gently chafing it between hers. Trying to tone down the energy ramping through her body, she insinuated a suggestion into her next words. "Sam honey, please, wake up."

Eyes still shut, her soul mate crinkled his forehead and sighed before trying to tug his hand out of Heather's grip.

Sam's head moved fractionally back and forth and Heather let go of his hand to still it, cupping the sides of his face between her hands. "Sam."

With Sam out cold, Heather's maternal feelings had fought with her desire; now Sam's hazel eyes snapped open and blinked up at her dazedly, pupils blown wide, and Heather wanted to pounce on him. But first she wanted to make sure he wasn't feeling the ill effects of the long connection or the brief burst that had blown super nova. "Sam, you okay, honey?"

For a long moment, the handsome brunette just blinked his eyes up at her and Heather feared his mind had been overburdened, the double link frying his brain.

But then Sam smiled, his dimples winking at her, and Heather melted.

-0-

Sam slowly came to awareness. He could hear a voice babbling but he couldn't make out the words. He tried to lift his eyelids but they refused to cooperate. A mild, clean scent filled his nostrils and he recognized it but couldn't put a name to it.

There was something hard beneath him; he was lying on a floor. The surface was slick and flat beneath his hand and he guessed it was vinyl or linoleum. His ass and his hips ached and Sam idly wondered if he'd passed out and Dean hadn't eased his descent to the ground. It didn't make sense because Dean had been glued to his side. Sam wondered if his brother was okay or if something had happened to him. Dean definitely tended to rush in where angels feared to tread.

His nose twitched again. Perfume. He smelled Heather's perfume. He must be having a dream. He'd certainly had his share of _those_ since Heather had come into his life. Embarrassing when you're on the road with your family but a fact of life, nevertheless. The damning part was that it was Heather that dominated his dreams.

The being that had kidnapped him from his family and taught him about his body's needs.

Sexual awareness crashed through his body, overpowering every thought in his head.

Blinking his eyes open, Sam found himself staring into Heather's face. She hadn't changed at all. And his body's response to her hadn't changed either. If this was a dream, he intended to ride it out and enjoy what pleasure it could bring. The self disgust would follow later but for now he was powerless to stop his response.

Sam levered himself onto his forearms and waited for the spinning in his head to abate. At least his head didn't hurt anymore. In fact other than his sore backside he was feeling good.

It had been so long since he'd felt good that he didn't know what to make of it. But he was pretty sure it had something to do with the beautiful psychic vampire. And he was going to take advantage of the situation presented to him.

Reaching out he placed his right hand between her breasts. The heart chakra. He remembered that from his time with Heather. Immediately a shock ran through his body and he heard Heather sigh.

The petite dark haired beauty picked up his hand and placed it on her abdomen. That was the chakra associated with self gratification and sexual fulfillment. All reasonable thought fled his mind as a new connection was forged.

-0-

Heather had sworn she wouldn't touch Sam without his consent. Technically she could say he'd initiated the session when he'd touched her between her breasts, but the truth was he still had that dazed look about him, and when she tried to read his thoughts she found them jumbled and chaotic.

She was taking advantage of him once again but it was her body's needs driving her. When awareness dawned in his eyes, she completely gave in to the sensations, moving his hand down to her stomach.

Electricity crackled up and down her skin and deep longing flooded her. Climbing awkwardly to her feet, she took Sam's left hand in hers and tugged him up. Pinning Sam's right hand to her body with one hand, she reached forward and swiped her thumb across his lower lip, pausing over a dab of blood glistening where it split.

Sam's lip trembled and his tongue snuck out of his mouth to moisten his lips.

Heather lost it.

Propelling her body forward she bowled into Sam until he staggered against the wall. She yanked his head down as her tongue darted out, lapping at the smudge of blood on his lip. Her hands were everywhere as she tried to touch every surface of the well developed body in front of her. Thick springy hair, pulse point at the long neck, muscular arms.

Pulse point at the long, stretched, vulnerable neck. Heather's incisors lengthened and she reached up on her tippy toes, nipping at the tan, available neck.

This position wasn't going to work. The bedroom was too far away so Heather improvised. Tapping into her strength, she whipped Sam away from the wall and lifted him by the waist, depositing him on the sturdy oak table. Scrambling to the side of the table, she trapped his hands against the surface and sunk her teeth deeply into the carotid artery.

The heady elixir flooded her mouth and she heard Sam moan as if from a distance. His arms flexed as he tried to get loose but Heather wasn't in a giving mood. She hadn't fed like this since she let Sam return to his family.

And oh, how she missed it.

Sam finally quit struggling and while she slowed her sucking, Heather cradled his face in one hand and let the other hand continue to wander.

His cock was long and hard and throbbing from all of the energy Heather was generating from her feeding. Sam wanted her. She wanted Sam.

She quickly undid the button and zipper of his blue jeans and ruthlessly yanked them down, taking his boxers with them. Unable to tear her face away from Sam's neck, her hands had a field day with the exposed equipment below Sam's waist.

Things got a little blurry for Heather at that point as her vision grayed around the edges. She remembered tugging Sam's body until his crotch was at the lip of the table and trying to figure out the logistics of mounting him from that position.

Bright lights sparkled in her vision and she passed out.

-0-

Dean came to on a soft surface. He was either on a bed or a couch. He cracked his eyes open and realized he was in Heather's living room.

There was moaning coming from the kitchen and Dean rolled to his feet.

He had to wait a moment until the walls stopped rotating around him and then he sprinted for the kitchen. Sam. Sam was in the kitchen.

Dean burst through the doorway and stopped in his tracks, an unholy image burned on his retinas.

_Sam spread out on the kitchen table with Heather draped over his body._

Revulsion spread through him, his cheeks heating up.

He remembered how he'd rutted against his brother in the throes of some sexual power trip, and now Heather and Sam had apparently done the dirty deed.

The bitch. Dean was going to kill her this time, connection or no connection.

There was no way in hell that Heather was going to sink her claws into his little brother again.

Although it looked like she had already done so, not that Dean was going to look again.

Stealing himself for the task ahead, Dean advanced on the table, gun in hand. He wrapped his hand around Heather's hair and yanked her head back. She was forced to sit up or lose hanks of her hair. Dean pressed his Taurus into the soft flesh under Heather's chin and forced her head further back.

"Wait, please."

Her pleas didn't even register as Dean got his first good look at his brother splayed across the table. Pale skin bleached of all color, dark bruises hugging the flesh under his eyes, blood leaking from a wound on his neck.

Dean's eyes didn't look any lower than that, still scarred from the image of Heather cuddled on his brother's chest. He gave a mighty tug and Heather flew off the table. Dean yanked her again, a nasty game of crack the whip, until her head collided with the kitchen wall. Heather dropped to the floor in a heap, and that was the last thought Dean gave to her as he turned his attention to his brother.

Tucking his gun into his waistband, Dean touched Sam's arm. "Sam."

No response.

Cupping his brother's cheek with one hand he withdrew a bandana from his back pocket with the other and put pressure on the blood slowly trickling at Sam's neck. "Sammy, you okay?"

Now that he was standing over Sam, he could see an area over his brother's left cheekbone turning red. Damn, when Heather hit her head, Sam must have sustained the same damage. This linking business sucked and he needed to find a way to end it.

Trying not to freak out, Dean concentrated on getting the blood flow at Sam's neck to stop. After a minute or so the wound stopped seeping. Time to move on to the next concern – Sam's continued unconscious state.

Thumbing back an eyelid, Dean noticed Sam's pupil was blown so wide he could barely see a hazel ring around it. He'd seen junkies on the street with that same response when he'd tried to interview them for a case.

Sam was stoned.

Dean decided to move Sam to a more comfortable place. But first he needed to put Sam's clothes in some sort of order. Pretending that Sam was a baby again, Dean reached for his boxers and tugged them up until he was covered down there. His eyes swung down so he could grapple with the jeans and that's when he saw the deep red marks on Sam's hips.

Bruises. In the shape of two hands. Dean's hands.

Bolting to the kitchen sink, Dean heaved until he thought his stomach lining was coming out. When the puking session finally ended, he turned on the faucet and rinsed his mouth, watching the contents of his stomach sluggishly move down the drain.

TBC

A/N: Thanks for all the wonderful reviews- they are very appreciated!


	9. Chapter 9

I'll Be Watching You Chapter 9

Summary: Sam comes face to face with his past, and must deal with his buried feelings over the trauma he suffered eight years ago. Sequel to Every Breath You Take. Takes place directly after Home. Co-written Sendintheclowns and beta'd by Floralia.

_Damn! Damn! Damn! What the hell am I supposed to do? _Dean's thoughts were filled with a whirl of emotions. Part of him wanted to kill the bitch that was laid out on the floor. Part of him wanted to grab Sam and run.

Looking at his unconscious little brother, he realized that he needed help. Missouri, she would know what to do. She had dealt with the psychic witch before.

Grabbing his phone from his pocket he started to dial but realized that his phone was dead. Growling in frustration he quickly made his way towards his brother. He was positive that Sam's phone was in his back jean pocket, but after his recent encounter with his brother he was apprehensive about touching him there.

Damn vampire energy sucking bitch! God, he violated…. No, not going there!

Sam needed help and his phone was in his back pocket so suck it up Winchester! Dean lifted Sam's hip off the table and reached into his back left pocket and snagged the phone. He gently lowered his brother back down on the table.

As he started to make the call to Missouri, he realized that he violated his brother's space for nothing. Sam's phone was dead. Damn. But Heather had a land line, hopefully it wasn't dead too.

Dean rushed over to the land line only to remember that he didn't have Missouri's number memorized. To his relief though, there was a phone book sitting on the coffee table under the phone. Grabbing the book, he found the number and dialed.

Before he could speak, a strong voice assaulted him.

"Dean Winchester, what possessed you and Sam to take on the psychic witch without my help? I've been trying to call you for the last half hour. That's when I felt a large psychic disturbance and it didn't take me long to connect it to Heather and Sam. I recognized their psychic signatures." Missouri finally paused long enough for Dean to speak.

"We should have called you, but things happened so fast. Heather connected with Sam, and we weren't able to break that connection. Heather convinced me that she could do it and that's when everything went to hell. She was fading due to lack of feeding and was taking Sam down with her. I let her feed on me, to save Sam and…" Dean didn't want to go on.

"Oh Dean, I'm sorry. That had to be horrible for you. You got caught in the middle didn't you? Don't you feel guilty. Sam could have died if you hadn't … you know connected with them. Baby, it doesn't make you a pervert so get those thoughts out of your head now, okay?" Missouri's voice was soft and soothing.

"Yes, ma'am. So what do I do?" Dean felt so lost.

"Give me a minute to read the situation, okay Dean?" Dean could hear Missouri take a deep breath on the other end.

"Oh dear, did you hit Heather?" Missouri's voice was full of concern.

"Yes, I had to get her off my brother." Dean huffed out.

"Dean, sweetie their still connected. I need you to check Heather and then Sam to see if he bore the full brunt of the hit." Missouri's tone was beginning to scare Dean.

"Shit, I checked him earlier it didn't seem bad…." Dean was stopped by the stern voice on the line.

"Boy get a hold of yourself and check on your brother." Her voice was so like an order that it snapped him out of his panic.

Dean walked over to Heather and felt for a pulse, it was strong enough, though she was out cold. He did notice that she had quite the goose egg forming on her left temple on top of the bruised cheek.

He then walked over to his brother and hesitantly lifted the boys bangs. An identical goose bump had formed on the boys left temple and it took everything Dean could muster not to lose his lunch all over again.

"Missouri, I managed to hurt my brother again. He's sporting quite a goose egg on his left temple identical to Heather's." Dean's voice was full of emotion.

"Dean, he'll be okay, but we need to get him away from Heather. He's still linked and the only way to stop it would be for me to help him, or for you to take him far enough away that distance would break the link. Right now, he's addicted to her. There's no way he'd willingly break the link so I'm not sure that bringing him here would be the best course of action." Missouri's voice was full of frustration.

Dean swallowed hard. He knew the moment he looked into his brother's eyes that the poor kid was addicted. It made sense. But driving off with Sam in this condition scared him.

"I don't know what to do, what do you suggest?" Dean knew he sounded pathetic but didn't care.

"Bring him here Dean. If I can't break the link, then we'll look into other options. But Dean, you make sure that Heather is going to be okay, because if something happens to her, it could have dire consequences for your brother." Missouri's tone was stern.

"Yes ma'am. I'll check on her first and then head your way with Sam. Thanks." Dean hung the phone up and stared at the woman who was the cause of this mess.

Dean quickly checked Heather's vitals. They seemed strong. He was tempted to leave her on the floor, but was afraid that any discomfort she felt, his brother would suffer through too.

With a heavy sigh, he lifted the object of his hatred and moved her to the couch. He wanted to throw her down on it, but thought better of the action.

Once he was satisfied that the harlot was comfortable, he turned his attention to his little brother. He knew that getting his brother to the car was not going to be an easy task, but one that was doable. Unfortunately he had a lot of experience lugging his unconscious Sasquatch brother around.

Dean first made sure that the door to the apartment and his car were open and then he came back for Sam. Hefting the boy up in a fireman's carry he hoisted his brother towards the car. With a little wrangling, he was able to get the boy laid out in the backseat.

Luckily there were no witnesses to the act to call into question his sexuality this time. Happy to have accomplished his task, he quickly went back and closed the apartment's front door before heading back to his baby.

Feeling more confident sitting in his car, with Sam under his care, he started the car.

-0-

Dean wanted to floor it to Lawrence but was reluctant to jostle his little brother around, so in the end took it easy. It was an hour of worry, but they made it safe and sound to Missouri's doorstep.

Dean wasted no time carrying his brother to the house, and wasn't a bit surprised that the door opened the minute he reached the steps to Missouri's house. She quickly directed Dean to her main floor bedroom.

Dean gingerly lowered his little brother down on the bed. He then, turned to focus his attention on the sturdy little woman that was standing in the doorway, taking his brother's condition in.

"Dean I've been doing some research since we talked. I think that I can break the link without Sam's consent, but I'm gonna need a bit more time to figure things out." Missouri's voice was full of confidence.

"We don't have time." Dean spat out in exasperation.

"Boy, you'll make time if you want this done right so it won't hurt your brother." Missouri snapped back.

Dean huffed but nodded in agreement. "So what should I do while you finish your research?"

"You're not gonna like this, but you need to secure your brother." Missouri said in a quiet voice.

"What?" Dean plopped down on the bed next to Sam, not believing his ears.

"Think about it Dean, that boy is addicted. If he wakes up before I've broken the link, he's gonna be out of his mind with sexual want and need. Do you really want to deal with that?" Missouri's tone was stern but her eyes full of sympathy.

"You mean…" Dean didn't even know how to voice his thoughts. This was all just so wrong.

"To be honest Dean, I'm not sure how Sam will react. He might beg you to take him to Heather, try to run to her, or if he is really out of it… might try to act out with who ever is available. And at my age if he came at me, I'd have a heart attack." Missouri gave Dean a bit of a smile.

Dean smiled back, appreciating her attempt to make things a little less intense by using humor.

"Okay, I'll get some rope to secure horn dog down. I just hope he doesn't wake up before you solve this problem." Dean said as he got up off the bed.

"It would be a blessing if he did stay unconscious but unfortunately I don't think we can count on it. I'll sit with him while you get the rope. If you don't mind, I'll try and get a bit of a reading on where his mind is right now." Missouri said as she approached Sam's side and sat on the bed next to him.

"Sure thing, I trust you Missouri." And Dean meant that, with all the crazy things going on at the moment, he placed all his trust in Missouri. She had proven herself trustworthy those many years ago when Heather had first made an appearance in the Winchester's lives.

-0-

As Dean re-entered the room, he found Missouri leaning over his brother with her eyes closed. He stood quietly letting the psychic finish her reading of his brother.

Moments later, she opened her eyes and sighed.

Missouri looked up at Dean and spoke. "Damn psychic witch. She's got her hooks in Sam good. The boy may think he's in control but he's not. He's riding the waves of her want and need and is reflecting it back as his own."

Dean was surprised by the venom is Missouri's voice. "So that mean's she has control over Sam's mind?" That thought horrified Dean.

Missouri shook her head. "Not quite. Sam has feelings for this creature, but their muddled and confused. She was his first sexual experience, and though it was against his will it was very pleasurable for him."

"I thought… God she touched him didn't she! She took my teenage brother without his consent. She raped him!" Dean felt his temper boil.

"Dean, boy, get a grip. This is not the time to lose control. And it's complicated, not what you would think as a true sexual act. She feed on his Sacral Chakra and that caused an orgasm when he was young. I told you back then that it was a possibility. Now when I read him, I can definitely feel the trauma of the act. It has caused him a lot of guilt over the years. He's had fantasies and dreams connected to Heather and that has caused him confusion and pain." Missouri's voice was full of concern and sympathy.

"I wish he would have said something. God, if I had just known." Dean felt sick with guilt that he hadn't pressed his brother to talk more after they got him back.

"Dean your guilt will do you no good now. You need to focus on how this information can help you help your brother. He is so torn up inside. He despises Heather for what she did, but part of him feels drawn to her. They bonded, so I'm sure that there is a strong need there. Right now, because of the link, his need is magnified because of her need for him. It's a vicious circle. Once we break this link, Sam will be able to step back and examine his true feelings for her, but not until the link is broken. Until then he is caught up under her spell, addicted to the need to be with her." Missouri huffed as she started to stand.

Dean walked over and helped her up. "So I just need to wait?'

"I'm afraid so Dean, I'll hurry and try to get this link broken as fast as I can. Just try to be strong." She patted his shoulder as she left the room.

Dean scrubbed his face with his hand. Why did their lives always have to be so complicated, was his thought as he sat down next to Sam.

-0-

Sam slowly opened his eyes, hoping to find himself with his beloved. His true love, Heather.

He was sorely disappointed as he awoke to a floral room that seemed vaguely familiar. Sam was also disappointed not to find Heather by his side, but his brother.

"Hey Sammy, how you feeling?" The words were spoken in a calm and comforting manner, but grated on Sam's nerves.

"Dean, where the hell are we?" Sam started to rise but found that his wrists were bound by ropes secured to the headboard above his head . "Dean why am I tied up? Where's Heather?"

"Sammy, just calm down. You're at Missouri's house and I left Heather alive and well at her apartment. I promise." Dean placed his hands down on Sam's chest trying to stop the struggling.

This only pissed Sam off more. "Get your damned hands off me. Let me go Dean, now!"

"Sorry, no can do kiddo." Dean removed his hands but kept his spot next to Sam on the bed.

Sam could tell that Dean's mind was made up and yelling was getting him no where. He stopped struggling for the moment. God, he needed Heather. Couldn't his brother see that he belonged with her? She was his soul mate and his need for her right now was great. So great that it hurt.

With pleading eyes he looked up at Dean. "Dean, please, you got to let me get back to Heather. I need her so bad. Please."

Dean's face was full of a mix of emotions. Sam could see the anger and frustration. "She's no good for you Sammy, you got to let her go. Once you do that, you'll be able to think straight."

Sam felt the tears well up. "No Dean, you got it all wrong. Everything is finally clear. She's the one. She is my soul mate. I belong to her and she belongs to me. God I need her so bad it hurts!"

Sam felt himself start to pant with the need that was building. His head was starting to throb, and his body was on fire with desire.

"Sam, please calm down. Missouri she's working on a way to help you, just hang in there." Dean was pleading but it fell on deaf ears.

Sam was beginning to writhe around in desire and pain. He needed release. He needed Heather.

-0-

Heather awoke to her beloved crying out. Sam! She slowly rose from her position, on the couch. Wondering how she had got there? Dean, it had to have been Dean. Damn him!

She remembered him hitting her, and she now felt the lovely goose egg that now rose up on her left temple.

Trying to collect her thoughts, she realized that Sam was calling for her through their link and was no longer close by.

Laying back down on the couch, she concentrated on their link. Where was her Sam? Lawrence, he was in Lawrence. Probably with that psychic woman Missouri.

Heather forged a stronger link.

_Sam, sweetie can you hear me?_

_**Heather? Oh God, I need you, so bad it hurts. Dean took me from you.**_

_I know Baby, I'm sorry. I need you to calm down._

_**I can't, my body is on fire with desire for you. It hurts.**_

_It's okay, I'm here, I can take care of you._

_**But how? **_

_Succubus can feed and experience sex through wet dreams, and I can too. I've also learned how to feed with someone I've linked with. I've only done it a couple of times, but I'm sure I can take care of you._

_**Please then, please!**_

God it broke her heart to find her beloved in such a state. She wanted to blame Dean, but in reality she knew that it was her fault. The guilt was starting to make her rethink her actions. Her first course of action would be to take care of Sam, so that his pain could go away.

-0-

Dean had felt sick watching his brother writhe around in pain and desire. There was nothing that he could do but to hope that Missouri would find the answer soon to breaking the link.

After a few moments of struggling on the bed. Sam went limp. His eyes were staring straight ahead unfocused. It took Dean right back to the moment he and his father had found young Sam and rescued him from Heather.

His brother had checked out, and while it was a relief to have his brother no longer writhing around in pain and desire, the utter limpness of his brother scared Dean more.

Dean was brought out of his musing by Missouri's voice.

"She's in contact with him." Her voice was calm but Dean could see the anger in her eyes.

"Damn it! Can you stop it?" Dean ask hopefully.

"No, but I sense that she is starting to feel guilty about all of this. I definitely can read the guilt. I think her purpose for contacting Sam is to help him." Missouri motioned for Dean to follow her out of the room.

Dean reluctantly followed. "Well you'll excuse me if I doubt her true intents."

"I totally understand that Dean. I'm angry myself. But the truth of the matter is, right now, because of the fact that Sam won't let go and desires to be with her, he's in pain. I can sense that she's wanting to ease that pain. Therefore, I think we should give Sam some privacy."

"I'm not leaving him alone and she's not hurting him again." Dean was sick of Heather having her way with his little brother.

"Oh she doesn't plan on hurting him, and if you were uncomfortable watching Sam writhe around in desire a few minutes ago, things are about to be ten times worse. Do you really want to watch your brother getting off, Dean?" Missouri was smirking at him.

"God no! Ewww, I can't even believe you said that. But how can I make sure she's not hurting him?" Dean hoped Missouri had a good answer.

"I'll be able to sense it. Come with me, and help me research. If something goes astray, I'll be able to tell." Missouri put a comforting hand on Dean's shoulder.

"Are you sure?" Dean asked as he hesitantly followed her to her study.

"I'm sure."

-0-

Sam was desperate to feel Heather, and was only vaguely aware that his brother had left the room. He didn't care. His need was so great, he would've come undone in front of his brother with no second thoughts.

_**Heather are you there? Please, need you so bad.**_

_Easy baby, I'm here. Do you remember where your Sacral Chakra is? Can you place you hand there?_

_**I remember, but Dean he tied me up. I can't touch myself. **_

Sam began to struggle against his bounds. Moaning out in frustration.

_Sam stop it, don't hurt yourself. I have and idea. Close your eyes baby, and take a deep breath. Focus on my voice._

_**Okay.**_

Sam did as he was told, though it was hard to calm his body that was tight with desire.

_You're doing so good baby, now try to picture me there in the room with you. Can you see me?_

_**Yes, God you're so beautiful. Need you.**_

_Baby, you're the beautiful one. When we first met, I thought you were the most beautiful male that I had ever laid eyes on, but now that you have become a man you take my breath away._

_**So hot for you. Hurts.**_

_I know Sweetie and we'll take care of that. I'm going to lay my hand on your Sacral Chakra, can you feel me._

Sam could see her. In his minds eye she was sitting on the bed next to him. Heather slowly lifted his t-shirt and undid his jeans zipper. Sam moaned in anticipation. As he watched she slowly pulled his jeans and boxers down. He took a deep steadying breath, as he readied his body for her touch.

Heather lowered her dainty right hand down and placed it on his Sacral Chakra and Sam bucked in the bed from the intense pleasure. His already hard cock becoming painfully hard leaking with precome.

Sam found himself panting out trying to calm himself so that he would last through the connection.

_**Heather, feels so good. Need you to touch me please.**_

_Of course baby, anything for you._

As Sam watched Heather moved her right hand to his cock and placed her left hand over his Chakra. She slowly started to stroke his hard dick and Sam could feel the energy from the Sacral Chakra starting to hum through out his body.

_**So good, feels so good. I haven't had this in so long. I dreamed of being with you but this is so much more than I could have ever imagined. Wish I could touch you.**_

_You are baby, with your energy. Feels so good._

Heather moved up the rhythm of her strokes and Sam felt like he was literally going to explode from the sensory overload. He could feel her energy and his mixing and spreading through out his body, flooding it top to bottom until it pooled in his stomach.

The heat he felt there was ten times more intense than normal for a building orgasm. Sam had remembered how all those years ago they had become one. Bonded together emotionally and sexually and now that bond was reawakened. It was far sweeter than he remembered. His Heather.

Before he had just been a child, the whole experience too much for his immature mind to handle. But now, he was a man and ready to give himself to her, body, heart and soul.

Sam could feel his body and energy building to a point of no return. His body began to tense with its need to release. He felt his toes curl as the orgasm built up.

Watching Heather stroke him to completion was his last visual as his body unleashed a tidal wave of lust and energy. His orgasm taking him to a place of pleasure that was so intense that he felt he would never be able to come back down.

Sam felt his seed exploding out of his body, and as the orgasm began to wane he watched Heather milk the last of his seed from his body. She was so beautiful.

Her eyes were lust blown, and her hair disheveled. As she caught his gaze she returned it with a satisfied smile.

_Sam you were so good baby. So good. Never had anyone as good as you. _

_**Heather we belong together forever.**_

Sam was puzzled to see Heather's face screw up in fear and anxiety.

_**Heather, what's wrong?**_

_Baby we need to talk. As soon as you catch your breath, we have to talk about breaking this link._

_**No!**_

God no, she couldn't be serious. They were finally together.

TBC

A/N: Thanks for reading! Reviews are loved!


	10. Chapter 10

I'll Be Watching You Chapter 10

Summary: Sam comes face to face with his past, and must deal with his buried feelings over the trauma he suffered eight years ago. Sequel to Every Breath You Take. Takes place directly after Home. Co-written Sendintheclowns and beta'd by Floralia.

Heather had come to a difficult decision. As much as she wanted Sam, wanted to stay with Sam, she needed to leave.

At the moment she was still linked to Sam. It felt wonderful, and with Sam spouting his love and devotion it felt right. It was what she had been waiting for since she met Sam all those years ago. This was her dream come true. But it was all an allusion.

When she had been in contact with Sam earlier, before they had truly connected, Sam had shown his true feelings to her. He was angry, hurt and confused. After all of those years, he hadn't healed over what had happened. She could tell he had feelings for her pushed deep back inside him, but they were buried feelings that he hadn't truly explored or understood.

Right now, Sam was feeding off her emotions, reacting to her needs, and thus unable to think straight. Sam's emotions were intertwined with hers and as long as they were linked he was addicted to her and the need to be with her. He wouldn't be able to think clearly until that link was broken.

If things had been different, if they had time to talk alone without Dean Winchester, there might have been a chance to get to know Sam's true feelings. She would have been able to end the link and actually talk to Sam, but now that was impossible. Dean was not going to let her talk to his brother, let alone near his brother ever again.

She could feel how much Sam loved his brother and needed his brother, so there was no way she would make the same mistake again. Taking Sam from Dean had almost killed the boy before, and she felt it would still destroy him.

That left one option. A farewell talk, and then she would leave. Distance would break their link and allow Sam to think clearly. To be Sam again.

-0-

_**Heather, we have to be together.**_

Sam was becoming panicked and it killed Heather to be the cause of the panic and emotional pain.

_Baby, I love you and things will be okay. I just need you to listen to me._

_**I'll listen, but I need to tell you something too. After we were together before, I couldn't get you out of my head. I felt guilty. My family had saved me from a creature that fed off me, and I was dreaming of you. Of being with you again, how good it felt. I never got over those feelings and now I understand why. I need you. I've always needed you. Don't let my brother scare you away, I can talk him into listening. Please.**_

_But Sam, what I did all those years ago was so wrong. It was going to be a simple snub to your father- a hunter. Feed on his youngest right under his nose. I thought I'd feed off of you a couple of times, you'd have no memory of it and I would have the satisfaction of getting one over on a hunter. But after I tasted you Sam, you were so special. I think you know now, you understand that as a psychic vampire I was addicted to your powers the moment that I fed. I thought I was in control but you were my addiction and that addiction took me to a horrible place in my head. I hurt you so bad. I'll never forgive myself for that._

_**I do understand that I have powers and why our uniting was so intense now. It was like it was meant to be, that's why you became addicted. It just felt so right. It felt right to me too. I was just too young to understand and except it. But I'm a man now, I can handle it. Before I was a scared kid but not anymore. And I must admit, that I was responsible for part of my horrible condition at the end.**_

_Sam it is so sweet of you to try and protect me….._

_**I'm not protecting you from the past. I'm telling the truth. When my last attempt to get free failed, I decided to make myself sick. I knew that you loved me and if I got sick enough, that you would have no choice but to give me up. I felt you would contact my family and it worked. I don't want you to blame yourself anymore for my actions. I forgive you, I understand the addiction now, I feel it too.**_

_Oh Sam, how could you? See, you should have never have had to do that. I was too far gone with lust and addiction, and that was your only course of action. It was my fault. And you understand that addiction because right now you're caught up in my addiction due to the link, you're not thinking clearly._

_**No, I'm thinking clearly for the first time in years.**_

_Baby, you're like I was all those years ago. I thought that I had got passed this addiction. I worked so hard to change since I left you. I settled here and hoped that your father or brother would find me and end the awful guilt that I was suffering from. When that didn't happen, I started a new life. One where I helped mankind. I started working for the local Child Protection Agency in order to help children who were victims. Victims like you had been. I couldn't help you heal, but I hoped that I could at least alleviate other's suffering. At night, I volunteered at a woman's shelter and I helped out at the humane society on the weekends. It helped me to feel like I was giving something back, and keeping so busy kept me from dwelling on the guilt. The ever present guilt._

_**See, there is good in you. I always felt there was good in you. **_

_No Sam, I'm not good. Far from it! I still feed you know. I have too. I'm not human so I'll never be good. I try to be as kind as I can about it, waiting until I absolutely need to feed and then only taking what I need to survive. I find my victims in the bars. I look for people who are looking for their next drug or sex high and I feed only through Chakra's. It gives them that new high that they were craving without hurting them, and it allows me to survive._

_**But, if we stay together you won't have to do that anymore. You'll have me. You're not a monster, you're only giving your partners what they crave.**_

_But Sam, I'm a monster and I'm not even talking about my feeding anymore. There is something that I need to admit to you. Something that haunts me almost more than what I did to you when you were fifteen._

_About four years ago, you and your family must have been back in Kansas on a hunt and near enough where I sensed you just like I did this time. Anyway, I knew that I should leave you alone, and I tried but my damn need to see you won out and I visited you in a dream. I wanted to make sure you were okay, but in the end I took advantage of you._

_**We were in Topeka, a vengeful spirit. Dad wanted us at a hundred percent because this spirit had killed, and I was getting over a bad cold and he ordered me to stay behind. I meant to wait up for them, but I had taken this cold medicine and I fell asleep on the couch. God that dream had been so intense and felt so real. I decided that the cold medicine had caused that dream to be so overwhelming. It was a wonderful feeling so please don't feel bad. I'm glad that it was really you and not just another dream.**_

_You were sick. I feed on you when you were sick, that could have harmed you. See, that was wrong. When I'm with you I don't think straight. I thought this time it would be different. I would connect quickly and let you know about the danger and let you go. But I hurt you yet again. I thought with time, I could change. Our relationship could change, and maybe we could be together, but it's not to be. At least not now._

_**I don't care about all of that Heather, I need you.**_

_I so sorry Sam but I have to leave, it's for your own good._

_**It's because I'm tainted right? I've been touched by a demon. My power is impure and that's why you need to get away from me.**_

_No Sam, that's not why I'm leaving. Baby, don't think of yourself as tainted. I knew there was something special, and something dark… a demon touched you._

_**I'm not sure, but on my six month birthday this demon came to my nursery. My dad found my mom pinned to the ceiling, her stomach was cut open and then the whole ceiling burst into flames. Dad just recently learned that a demon caused all of this and has been hunting him. That was why he became a hunter, to find my mom's killer. But now, I know it's because of me, my mom died because of me.**_

_Baby, why would you say that?_

_**Because I just recently came into my powers about six months ago. It started with headaches and then I had this dream over and over. It was of my girlfriend Jess, pinned to the ceiling above me…**_

Sam started to sob. Heather reached through the link so that he could physically feel her as she leaned down and placed her arms around him to comfort him.

_It wasn't a dream was it baby? It was a vision?_

_**Yes, and I didn't do anything to stop it.**_

_You didn't know baby._

_**But because of me, she died just like my mom. I don't know why this thing did that, but I have to find out. You could help me. Help me stay strong.**_

Sam's pleas broke her heart.

_Sam, I would be a distraction. You need to stay focused. But baby, now that I know, if I find anything out that could help you, I'll contact you. Promise._

_**I just want you to stay with me.**_

_You have Dean, and you'll be okay. I promise. But sweetie, I need to go._

Heather let go of her physical hold on the young man and felt the tears gather in her eyes. She had to be strong.

_**I love you, please don't leave.**_

_I love you and maybe someday you'll forgive me for this. Maybe someday we can be together. Please take care of yourself Sam._

_**DON'T GO PLEASE!**_

She could hear him scream her name and sob as she let go of her contact with him. She could feel his emotions like a freight train hitting her and it took her breath away.

It took every bit of strength that Heather had in her to gather up her emergency bag. One she kept in case life threw her another curve ball and she had to run again.

Grabbing a few precious mementos of her life, she quickly fled her apartment and Sam. With tears streaming down her face she quickly loaded her belongings and got in her car. She hoped that within a couple of hours she would have traveled enough far enough away to break her link with Sam, her beloved, her life.

Heather was reeling from the information Sam shared about the demon and the loss of his mom and girlfriend. She had felt some darkness associated with Sam's powers, but thought that maybe his mom had been a bit impure.

It horrified her to think that Sam had been touched by a demon and that the demon was still haunting Sam's life. She decided to make it her new mission to find out all she could about this demon threatening her beloved. If Heather had her way, he would never hurt Sam again.

Heather hoped by saving Sam from the demon that she could at least make up for some of the pain she had caused him over the years. She would at least try.

It was her hope that in time, he might forgive her and understand her. That someday they might find away to be together.

TBC

A/N: Thanks for reading. Reviews are loved!


	11. Chapter 11

I'll Be Watching You – Chapter 11

Summary: Sam comes face to face with his past, and must deal with his buried feelings over the trauma he suffered eight years ago. Sequel to Every Breath You Take. Takes place directly after Home. Co-written Sendintheclowns and beta'd by Floralia.

"Everyone leaves me."

Dean almost fell off the edge of the bed Sam was draped over when his little brother suddenly spoke. His brother had been silent for so long that Dean had thought Sam had forgotten how to speak.

And it was funny – not funny like a clown but ironic – that Sam was putting voice to a sentiment Dean had long held.

Mary Winchester had left Dean when he was four; he knew his mom didn't want to go out in a fiery blaze but she'd left him nonetheless. Dean had focused all of his energy on his little brother and that had worked as a good distraction, at least until Sam left him for college. Then his dad had abandoned him for the hunt – sure, he was chasing after the thing that killed Dean's mom but he'd still managed to leave Dean in the lurch. He wasn't even sure which one hurt the most anymore but he certainly understood what Sam was feeling – everyone left.

Although if Heather had left, Dean could only count it as a blessing. That was one screwed up hoochie mama. And it wasn't bad enough that she seemed intent on destroying her own life – sucking people dry, like her husband for starters – but she kept managing to take Sam down with her.

"Heather's gone. She broke the link."

Sam's voice was shredded and desolate.

Dean heaved a sigh of relief and reached his hand out to touch Sam's leg, but then quickly withdrew it. He'd had to touch Sam in order to get him out of Heather's apartment and to Missouri's but that had been necessity. The act of touching Sam to comfort him scared the crap out of Dean; what if his brother's "powers" went haywire and Dean couldn't control himself again?

All Winchesters were control freaks but this latest episode had put a serious kink in Dean's self image. He was a totally hetero male who banged any female, long hair or short, as long as she was buxom and liked to play around.

He wasn't into monogamy. Dean had tried it once and it hadn't worked. Cassie had dumped him as soon as he disclosed the true nature of his job – hunting things that go bump in the night.

After that Dean had pursued his job with a single minded determination, and when he got a break he applied that same determination to the pursuit of happiness, preferably in bed with a likeminded female.

So the thought of getting his rocks off with a guy – never mind the fact that he hadn't been in control of his faculties – left him feeling queasy. The fact that the guy in question was his own brother was enough to send him off to a padded cell for some rest and relaxation.

His brother groaned, and it wasn't that 'panting in heat' groan he'd made earlier while Heather fucked with his head. Sam was in distress.

Sucking up his delicate sensibilities, Dean patted Sam awkwardly on the ankle. The ankle seemed a pretty safe bet; it wasn't an erogenous zone and it was far, far away from other areas. The ankle was safe.

Until Sam flexed it and Dean hastily jerked his hand away. "Sammy, you need to relax."

_Before I clock you one, _Dean silently added.

"Sorry, can't get comfortable."

Sam's wrists were still encased in rope, which was in turn wound around the headboard. But there was plenty of play with the rope and his little brother's arms rested on top of the bedspread. Dean was pretty sure Sam had forgotten he was even tied down but until he was sure Sam wouldn't go charging after Heather, or worse, he couldn't chance letting his brother loose.

Too much was riding on it. Sam's health – mental and physical – to be exact.

His brother licked his dry lips and stifled another groan. Hazel eyes darted around the room, flitting from surface to surface, never landing for very long. Dean felt like he was trapped with the poster child for Adult Attention Deficit Disorder.

Long legs suddenly jack-knifed up and Sam yelped. "Dean, my stomach, I need the bathroom."

Sam had tried other ploys to gain his freedom so he could high tail it after Heather, but when his little brother's stomach made an obscene rumbling noise, Dean was confident Sam was telling the truth. "Come on, the bathroom's down the hall."

Dean had palmed his knife and was leaning forward to cut Sam's hands free when his brother swung his legs off the bed and cried out sharply when his shoulders pulled from the pressure of his bonds; Dean had been right, Sam had forgotten he was tied down. With a minimum of fuss, Dean cut Sam loose and pulled him to his feet, steering him out of the bedroom and down the hallway.

There were no windows in the bathroom and the only way out was past Dean, so he waved Sam inside and closed the door. After the toilet was flushed multiple times, Dean pushed away from the doorframe and leaned against the wall across from the bathroom. He didn't need to hear the sound effects of Sam's upset stomach through the door.

At long last the door cracked open. "Is it okay if I clean up?"

His brother's shoulders were slumped and his eyes were red. Sam looked miserable. Struggling with the fact that his self sufficient brother was now reduced to asking permission to shower, Dean nodded his head yes.

Dean felt like he was back at ground zero with Sam, his brother behaving the same tentative way as he had when Heather first got her dirty hands on him and returned him to his family damaged when he was still just a kid.

Missouri walked down the hallway and placed a small hand on Dean's shoulder. "Hang in there, sweetie. It's going to be a rough little while but your brother will pull through. Now I'll play hall monitor while you get your brother some clean clothes.

He found himself obeying Missouri's commands without thought. Both he and Sam were whipped at the moment. The psychic harrumphed and Dean realized she'd read his thoughts. Normally it would have pissed him off but he was bone weary and couldn't work up the energy.

Catching a glimpse of himself in the mirror, Dean saw that he wasn't looking much better than his brother. Bloodshot eyes. Pale, doughy skin. Slumped shoulders.

God, he couldn't wait for things to go back to the way they were BH…Before Heather.

-0-

Sam's legs nearly dumped him on the tile floor of the shower but he threw an arm out and caught his balance. The hot water felt good on his sore, cramped muscles but it wasn't working on the chills that periodically coursed through his tired body.

He was totally fucked up. He missed Heather. And if that didn't qualify him for some couch time with a psychiatrist he didn't know what did.

There was no acceptable explanation for his feelings. Heather had kidnapped him when he was fifteen, taught him all sorts of stuff like yoga, chakras and how to have sex without touching, and then disappeared from his life.

Until Sam insisted they come to Kansas. Almost all of his woes seemed tied to this state.

Tipping his head forehead, he leaned it against the tiled wall and let the hot spray pound his shoulders and back. His nose began to run and he snorted, trying to hold it back, but the snot continued to drain out as if it had a life of its own.

He was a disgusting mess.

A brief knock on the door preceded Dean's entrance. "Sam, you still in there? I can't see past all of this steam. Why don't you stick a fork in it…I think you're done."

Sam wanted to answer his brother – at least Dean was trying to speak and act normally and Sam appreciated the effort – but his breathing had picked up pace and he was too out of breath to speak.

Turning the shower off, Sam heard the door snick shut. He pulled back the curtain and found a large, fluffy blue towel draped on the rack and clean sweats, t-shirt, socks and boxers puddled next to the sink.

Tremors wracked his body as Sam briskly toweled off. His hips were killing him and he glanced down, surprised to see two, large purple hand prints pressed into his flesh. The bruising was substantial and he wondered if Heather had caused it. She certainly had the strength but these hands weren't dainty, they were substantial. If the angle were different, Sam would have thought he'd made them himself.

Sam quickly pulled on his clean clothes. He didn't even want to deal with the jeans and sweatshirt he'd shed before stepping into the shower; there were marks and stains all over them, inside and out, and he didn't want to think too hard on what had happened to cause them.

Nausea welled in the pit of his stomach and Sam splashed cold water on his face. First he was cold then hot…it was like being trapped with two of the bears from Goldilocks and he'd never be "just right" again.

All of this self pity was making his head ache and his stomach burn. He needed to get a grip, fast, or Dean would never trust him again. Not that Sam blamed him.

Opening the door he gracelessly tripped over his feet and stumbled out, his certain descent to the floor stopped when Dean braced a hand on his shoulder and hip. A hiss of pain escaped his lips as Dean made contact with one of the bruises and withdrew his hand as if burned.

"Hey, are you okay?"

For some reason Sam was embarrassed to tell Dean about the bruises. He had no memory of what had happened from the time they entered Heather's apartment until he woke up in the Impala on the way to Missouri's. Well, he had some vague memories, but nothing that would explain the marks on his hips.

"Um, yeah. I've got a bruise on my hip. And on the other one, too. Do you know…never mind. Forget I said anything."

Dean's face had blanched and then flooded with color, and that told Sam all he needed to know; he'd been bruised while he and Heather had forged their connection, a really_ really_ intimate connection if he was right, and it made his usually unrepressed brother tense up so it couldn't be good.

Sam had tried to ignore it but he realized Dean was uncomfortable around him, didn't want to touch him. Had a problem even looking at him. Something really bad must have gone down and it had left Dean disgusted with him.

Another wave of cramps pummeled Sam's muscles and he wrapped an arm around his middle while bending forward at the waist. He thought Dean was speaking to him but he was so busy trying to breathe through the pain that he wasn't sure.

-0-

Dean now knew firsthand what the phrase "deer caught in the headlights" meant as his brother asked him about the bruising on his hips.

Sam had stumbled and Dean had thrown his own arms out to balance him. He'd yanked his hand back as soon as it made contact with Sam's flank but when his brother hissed in discomfort, he'd automatically asked him if he was okay. After all, taking care of Sam was his job.

But Dean had never anticipated his brother asking about the bruises.

If he pretended they weren't there, Dean somehow thought Sam would, too.

His brother's question had dried up quickly but bewilderment was replaced with a sharp gasp of pain and Sam bent himself in half, his breath loud and panicked.

Missouri, ever attentive to Sam's changing needs, hustled up to the brothers. "I think he's suffering from withdrawal. Help me get him settled back in bed."

Dean tugged Sam's arm around his shoulder and propelled him back down the hallway and into the bedroom. Missouri deftly guided Sam's heavier body onto the freshly made bed and set about arranging him under the sheet and against the pillow.

Withdrawal implied a drug. Sam wasn't on drugs. Oh, Heather. His brother was addicted to a psychic vampire. The day just kept getting better and better.

"Take care of your brother while I get something for the pain."

Missouri would have made a fine general as she snapped off her command and strode from the bedroom, short legs churning down the hallway as she muttered about chamomile and lavender.

Sweat glistened on Sam's face and his body jerked and quivered as chills swept through his body.

Dragging the comforter up, Dean tucked it tightly around Sam's body. "Here, let's get you warm."

Dean's hand started to reach up and smooth the tangled, wet hair out of his brother's face but he let it drop short of completing its mission. He settled for perching on to the edge of the bed so he could keep a close watch on his brother.

Sam blinked his eyes rapidly, frowning at Dean. His little brother's pupils were dilated and there was an unnatural sheen to his eyes.

"I'm sorry. Please don't leave me."

He wasn't sure but Dean thought Sam might be hallucinating, calling out to Heather.

Those thoughts were disabused when Sam arched his back in discomfort and clasped Dean's arm loosely in his hand. "I'll be good, I promise. Dean, please don't leave me."

Dean looked down at the hand touching his arm and frowned, wondering why Sam thought he'd leave him. Sam's expression went from pleading to scared and he snatched his hand back. "I won't touch, sorry."

All of his worries about his sexuality and what had happened at Heather's flew out the window as Dean was confronted with a childlike Sam.

His brother needed him and that's all there was to it.

TBC

A/N: We have three chapters left to go! Thanks to everyone who is reading and reviewing!


	12. Chapter 12

I'll Be Watching You Chapter 12

Summary: Sam comes face to face with his past, and must deal with his buried feelings over the trauma he suffered eight years ago. Sequel to Every Breath You Take. Takes place directly after Home. Co-written Sendintheclowns and beta'd by Floralia.

Heather had a hard time keeping her emotions in check as she drove further and further from her beloved. She could feel him still reaching out, trying to communicate with her, as the link became weaker and weaker. It was hard not to respond.

She wanted too so badly it hurt. It was so tempting to turn the car around and to return to her soul mate. But she knew in her heart of hearts that what she was doing was in Sam's best interest. Especially after their talk.

If a demon was indeed interested in her beloved, then Sam needed to remain alert and on his toes as a hunter. And Dean, as much as the man annoyed her, was the best person for Sam to be with while the demon threat was out there. Dean was Sam's protector and Heather had every confidence that he would keep her love safe.

But now that Heather had the knowledge that her Sam was threatened, she could help. She could be that hidden guardian angel keeping a distant eye out on her Sam. Between her and Dean, Heather felt that Sam was safe.

The part that pained her the most about leaving at the moment was the knowledge of the physical pain that was to follow once their link was broken. Her sweetest Sam having forged such a strong link to her, and staying linked for so long, would suffer through withdrawal once the link was broken.

If she had been there she could have helped him ease out of the withdrawal, but if she was still there she knew that Sam would have stubbornly stayed linked. This was the only option.

Heather tried to take comfort in the knowledge that Sam was with his family friend Missouri. She knew that Missouri would do everything in her power to ease Sam through the withdrawal process.

Her mind was taking her to places that were sure to break her spirit and will power. Heather was desperate to take her mind off of what was happening to Sam so she turned on the radio.

She had it on a light rock station and tried to keep her mind on the mindless lyrics that were pouring out of the speakers, and it helped some.

An hour later as she felt her link to Sam die, a song came on that literally took her breath away.

_Every breath you take  
Every move you make  
Every bond you break  
Every step you take  
I'll be watching you_

**The song took her back to all those years ago…**

_Every single day  
Every word you say  
Every game you play  
Every night you stay  
I'll be watching you_

**Sam was hers alone and the song felt so right.**

_Oh, can't you see  
You belong to me  
How my poor heart aches  
With every step you take_

**But it wasn't meant to be and she lost her Sam.**

_Every move you make  
Every vow you break  
Every smile you fake  
Every claim you stake  
I'll be watching you_

**But as she listened to the lyrics this time around with tears running down her face…**

_  
Since you've gone I been lost without a trace  
I dream at night I can only see your face  
I look around but its you I cant replace  
I feel so cold and I long for your embrace  
I keep crying baby, baby, please..._

**She realized that the song still felt right in describing her relationship with Sam.**

_Oh, can't you see  
You belong to me  
How my poor heart aches  
With every breath you take_

**Because deep in her heart she knew that Sam would always belong to her.**

_Every move you make  
Every vow you break  
Every smile you fake  
Every claim you stake  
I'll be watching you_

**And now and forever she would be watching after her Sam.**

-0-

Missouri had her hands full and she knew it. Sam was detoxing from his addiction to Heather and Dean was in full on protective brother mode and fretting up a storm.

At least the reason for their situation was gone, and Missouri could only hope that the vamp would stay gone.

Heather's link to Sam had finally been broken and now the boy was a mess. Missouri was preparing a concoction that hopefully would dampen the withdraw effects enough to allow the boy to rest.

Rest was something Sam needed in spades. His body had tapped into unused power when it linked with Heather and that was draining enough, but add the fact that Heather had fed on the boy and you had a body ready for a breakdown.

That was going to be the tricky part about the whole detox situation; Sam was so weak. In fact, he was in such a state it reminded her of all those years ago when a very fragile teenage Sam had first visited her home.

Missouri just hoped that this time she wouldn't have to call her friend Dr. Harrison again. She knew that if they had to involve the good doctor, it would send Dean over the precarious ledge he was already tittering on.

Dean was an emotional mess. Heather had done a two for one this time with her feeding habits and Dean was paying for it.

The feeding had left Dean physically drained, and then what happened during his brief physical connection with Sam and Heather had left him an emotional disaster.

Missouri sighed. These boys had been through so much, and she knew with the evil out there this was only the beginning.

Well she would do what she could for the boys and hope for the best.

In the kitchen, Missouri finished her concoction and put it in a coffee mug to take to Sam.

-0-

Dean was in shock. His brother was acting out of it, which he got, but also childlike and kept apologizing for touching. Weird, just what Dean felt he should be apologizing to Sam for.

"Please don't leave me." Sam panted out again. His eyes were glazed over and no matter what Dean said, it didn't register with Sam.

Dean was relieved when Missouri appeared in the doorway. "Dean sugar, I'm gonna need your help to get Sam to drink this."

Dean nodded and let out a frustrated sigh. "He's really out of it and I think he's still in pain."

"I know Dean, and I whipped up something that should take the edge off of his symptoms enough to let him sleep. We just need to get it down him." Missouri said as she approached Dean.

Dean got a whiff of the potion and gagged. "Smells like ass, I don't even want to know what it tastes like. Sam's not going to like it."

Missouri used her free hand to whack Dean on the arm. "Watch your language boy. I need you to get Sam in an upright position, and open his mouth for me if he resists."

Dean didn't want to do it, but knew it was best for his brother. He couldn't stand him in pain. "Yes ma'am."

Dean maneuvered himself behind Sam and lifted him upright into a sitting position. And waited for Missouri's directions.

The older woman sat down next to Sam and tapped him lightly on the cheek. "Sam, baby are you with me?"

"Heather? I need you." Sam's voice was quiet and hard to hear, broken.

"Baby, I have something for you to drink. It's not going to taste very good, but it will help with the pain. Do you understand Sam?" Missouri paused and waited for an answer.

"I'll do whatever you say, just stay with me Heather." Dean felt his grip tighten on his brother as anger surged through him.

Missouri gave him a sympathetic look. "Dean, the poor boy is delusional and I know it's hard to hear him like this, but I think it will work in our favor."

She then turned to his brother. "Sweetie, open your mouth and drink okay?"

Dean watched as his little brother obeyed, opening his mouth to drink as the coffee mug was brought to his lips. After the first swallow though, his little brother thought better of it and tried to pull away.

Missouri was able to pull the mixture away without spilling. "Sam, sweetie, I know it tastes bad but you have to drink it."

Sam sighed. Missouri brought the mug back to his mouth and he drank, sputtering and choking a bit until he had drank it all.

"Dean, hand me the water bottle that's on the bed-side table." Missouri took the bottle from Dean and then held it up to Sam's lips.

Once Sam realized it was water he greedily drank it down. Dean didn't blame him, that stuff had to taste, well, like ass.

Dean sat there and watched as over the next few minutes his brother's breathing slowed and he began to relax in his grasp.

"Dean honey, I think Sam's going to be out of it for awhile. He's pain free now."

Dean gave Missouri a grateful smile as he lowered his brother down on the bed. He pulled the blankets up to the younger boy's shoulders and smoothed the bangs out of his eyes. It wasn't a gesture he would normally show in front of others, but Missouri was like family now.

"Dean, I think while Sam is resting we need to talk." Missouri said as she rose from the bed.

Dean reluctantly followed the older woman out of the room.

-0-

Missouri lead Dean to the kitchen, and started making a pot of tea. She figured some Chamomile tea might help Dean relax enough to take a nap himself.

Once the kettle was ready she motioned for Dean to have a seat at the table. She could tell by the waves coming off of him that he was wary of what she was about to say.

"Dean, you know I'm not one to mince words, so I'm just gonna spit it out. Sam is going to need your support real bad over the next few days." Missouri watched as Dean tensed as she mentioned Sam.

"You know I'll do anything I can for Sam." Dean answered quickly.

"I know. Here's the deal though. I normally don't prowl around in people's heads, but what happened to you and your brother over the last two days is pouring out of you. I haven't had to read anything, it's just there- smack dab in front of me. And it's not pretty."

Missouri could tell that Dean was at a loss as to what to say. So she continued on.

"Sam is detoxing and dealing with the consequences and feelings of the last few days, and is going to need you to be strong for him. He is going to suffer a lot like a junkie over the next couple of days- headaches, cramps, nausea, and right now he's a bit delusional. I can give him something to take the edge off a bit, but his body is going to have to rid it's self of the toxins." Missouri watched as Dean's expression started to show the anger that was boiling inside him.

His thoughts were loud and clear. _ Damn obsessing psychic sucking bitch, wish I could have ended her_.

Missouri nodded in agreement. "I know Dean, she's caused your family a heap of trouble. If I could take my spoon to her, I gladly would."

Dean chuckled. "She wouldn't stand a chance."

"No she wouldn't. So anyway, as I was saying, Sam is going to be physically in pain but on top of that, there are some issues that his scrambled brain is trying to deal with. That's what all the babbling was about earlier."

Dean perked up. "What kind of issues?"

"Well, this isn't something that you want to talk about, but we need to get it out in the open. Sam knows that something happened at the apartment, involving you. He is assuming from the bruises and the fact that you're reluctant to touch him, that he acted inappropriately while under Heather's influence." Missouri paused to let what she said sink in.

"That's not what happened." Dean replied quietly.

"I know that Dean. Like I said, you two's emotions have been thrust into my head. I know what happened. It wasn't your fault Dean. It was Heather's. She should have told you to let your brother go when she connected with him. What happened doesn't mean you're gay or that you lust after Sam. You had no control over it. Sam will understand." Missouri could tell that Dean wanted to bury this whole episode, but it really wasn't an option. Not while it was causing him to behave awkwardly with his brother.

"I really don't want Sam to know." Dean mumbled.

"Well, I can tell you that right now, he's so out of it that it wouldn't do you any good to tell him. I just want you to get past it so that he doesn't pick up on that guilt vibe of yours anymore. He's reading the guilt as anger and avoidance, and that's the last thing he needs right now." Missouri jumped a bit as her kettle whistled at her.

She rose from the table and pulled out two mugs and filled them with tea bags and water and placed on in front of Dean.

Dean upturned his nose. "What's this?"

"Boy haven't you ever had tea before?" Missouri snapped at him without any heat behind the words.

"No and I don't plan on having any. Don't you have coffee?" Dean made a funny face as he moved the mug away.

"Boy, don't make me get the spoon! You're gonna drink that tea. It will help you relax and sleep. And before you start on needing to watch over your brother- don't! He's going to be out for a few hours and I can sit with him. You're gonna need the rest to deal with him when he wakes." Missouri huffed and hoped she got her point across.

"Alright, I'll take a nap but I'm not drinking tea!" Dean wrinkled his brow in defiance.

"You'll drink it and not say another word." Missouri held her ground and could see that she had broken through when Dean's confident expression fell.

"How about if I drink half and you don't tell Sam?" Dean asked as he tentatively pulled the mug closer.

"I won't tell Sam, but you'll drink it all." Missouri replied with a smirk.

Dean sighed and took a small sip. The face he made was priceless, but Missouri ignored it and started back to the subject of taking care of Sam.

"So Dean, you rest and then we'll deal with Sam together. Like I said before, the physical part won't be easy, but his head is also pretty messed up. He feels guilty over his need for Heather, and his hate for Heather. He hates her for taking him and tearing him away from you. But, he has a physical and mental connection that he can't shake, and that is because she bonded with him all those years ago. I just wished that I had picked up then how far she had gotten her hooks in him. Maybe we could have dealt with his guilt better." Missouri sighed at the thought that they had failed poor Sam.

"It kills me to think about what she did to him and how he suffered all those years alone." Dean spoke and then took another small sip of his tea, grimacing.

"I know Dean, and we're going to have to handle him carefully. We can't speak too negatively about Heather or he might get defensive. The best thing to do is listen. Help him through his pain and once he is his self again, you two need to talk things out. He has secrets about what happened all those years ago that would do him good to get out." Dean about spit out his tea when Missouri mentioned secrets.

"Sammy is so …. Frustrating. Doesn't he know I'm here for him?" Dean sputtered out.

Missouri shook her head. "Now isn't that the pot calling the kettle black. You have your secrets too. I suggest that you come clean about what happened today, and the guilt you felt all those years ago that you didn't believe Sam when he told you about Heather. You come clean and your brother might follow."

Dean's face lit up in shock. "Man, I must just be an open book to you!"

"Yeah, you are. And I'm tired of talking about it. You know what I think is best for you boys. I won't pressure you anymore about it. I just hope that you make the right decisions because your actions over the next few days will either help or hinder Sam's healing process. You understand?" Missouri waited for him to answer.

Dean swallowed hard. "Yes, ma'am." There was a pause.

"Uh if were done talking, could I go take that nap now? This tea sucks."

Missouri struggled to keep the smile off her face. "Boy, I'm too old to have to deal with you and your attitude. Get out of my face, and get some rest on the couch. I'll come get you as soon as Sam wakes."

"Sure thing, thanks."

Missouri had to chuckle at how fast Dean scrambled to get out of the kitchen and away from her and the tea.

TBC

A/N: Thanks for reading and reviewing. I wanted to mention to Sairah, thanks for her anonymous reviews! Two chapters left to go!


	13. Chapter 13

I'll Be Watching You – Chapter 13

Summary: Sam comes face to face with his past, and must deal with his buried feelings over the trauma he suffered eight years ago. Sequel to Every Breath You Take. Takes place directly after Home. Co-written Sendintheclowns and beta'd by Floralia.

Dean entered the bedroom and found Sam curled on his side, eyes watering and nose running. It was a pathetic sight. Not to mention pretty disgusting.

Eyes watering. Sam was obviously in need of a little comforting but Dean still wasn't sure he could bring himself to touch his brother. It was too much like…well it was just too touch feely for him at the moment.

Over the years Dean had plenty of opportunity to watch Sam cry. Tears of rage when their dad wouldn't let Sam do something he wanted and his kid brother was so angry he couldn't even speak. Tears of disappointment when Sammy was ordered to pack up and hit the road before a test, or a play, or a soccer game, or a dance he was heartbroken to miss out on. Tears of grief when Sam mourned the mother he never knew and a girlfriend he wanted to marry, both killed by some demon son-of-a-bitch.

But this time? No, Dean could see on closer inspection that this time Sam wasn't crying. Sam's eyes were at half mast but when Dean knelt down on the floor next to the bed to get a better look at his brother, he could see Sam was miserable, but he wasn't making those gross snorting and snuffling sounds he tended to make when he lost it.

Drawing on a store of reserves he hadn't known was there, Dean touched Sam's shoulder. "Sammy? What's going on?"

Dazed hazel eyes blinked at Dean and a ripple shimmied down Sam's spine. Dean dropped his hand, missing the contact but at the same time relieved not to be touching his brother. "I feel like crap."

Sam's voice was thick with exhaustion but he was coherent. Dean would take what he could get at this point and exhausted and coherent beat delirious and delusional, hands down. "Dude, you look like crap, too."

A strangled laugh clawed its way out of Sam's mouth. "Dude, you have a bedside manner Attila the Hun would envy."

Dean was trying to come up with a clever comeback when Sam groaned and hunkered down farther, drawing his legs up closer to his chest so he was in fetal position. Sweat beaded heavily on Sam's face. "Sammy, talk to me."

His brother didn't answer him and instead panted lightly, eyes squeezed tightly closed, face rucked up in a grimace. "Hurts. Oh, God, it really hurts."

All of Dean's protective instincts screamed to the fore. Missouri had mentioned Sam was going through withdrawal and this was one nasty case of the shakes. Dean regretted not having wrung Heather's neck when he had the opportunity; Sam didn't deserve this. Hell, nobody did.

Sam weakly slammed a fist into the mattress and moaned before cramming that same fist into his mouth.

Unsure if his instincts were right, Dean forged ahead anyway. Whatever he did couldn't hurt Sam much worse than he was already hurting.

Maybe if he pulled Sam out of the pretzel shape he'd contorted himself into, the pain would ease.

Dean put a hand on Sam's hip and rolled him on to his back, flinching as his little brother let out a whimper of distress from the pressure of Dean's hand on Sam's bruised flank. When his little brother tried to roll back on to his side, Dean grabbed Sam's thin wrists and pinned them to the mattress. "Come on, Sammy, breathe through it. You can do it."

A spark of defiant Sam blazed forth as his little brother glared up at him from flat on his back. "Easy…for you…to say."

Sam panted out the words, trying to tug out of Dean's grip.

Pulled off balance Dean fell forward, planting a knee on the bed next to Sam's body, just barely catching himself before he sprawled atop his brother. The brothers were stuck in a compromising position and even though they had been in worse while sparring and training, this one conjured memories of things Dean's mind wanted to forget.

He yanked his hands away from Sam as if burned, unable to control the spasmodic reaction. Sam's contortions and gyrations ended abruptly as he rubbed his cramped stomach, eyes sliding away from Dean's with unease. "I'm okay now. You don't have to stay with me."

The tone was devoid of emotion and that tipped Dean off more than any other response would to just how deeply he'd hurt Sam with his overreaction. It pained him to admit it, but maybe Missouri was right. Maybe it would be better to get this thing out in the open.

Although Dean would rather have a tooth pulled out than have the following conversation. But desperate times called for desperate measures. And as far as Dean could tell, both brothers were desperate.

-0-

Dean lightly wrestling with him was distracting Sam from the intense wave of cramps that had taken up residence in his stomach. And then a curious thing happened.

His older brother tensed up, face shocked, and abruptly pulled away from Sam. Like Dean couldn't bear to touch him.

Sam knew he was damaged but Dean's reaction to him confirmed what he'd suspected – Sam was the scum of the earth and his own brother couldn't tolerate the contact with him.

Hell, it was amazing that Dean even consented to be in the same room as him.

His self esteem was at an all time low, which was really saying something when you considered Sam's teenage years right after Heather kidnapped him. But he couldn't inflict himself on his brother anymore. It wasn't fair. "I'm okay now. You don't have to stay with me."

Dean made a strangled noise deep in his throat but Sam missed his expression, his eyes darting wildly away from his older brother. If Dean didn't leave the room soon, Sam was afraid he'd make a spectacle of himself.

The mattress dipped down and his older brother's voice soothed him. "Scoot over, Sam. There's something I need to tell you."

Sam wriggled farther on to the bed, as far as he could to allow Dean as much space as possible. Maybe if he gave Dean enough space, he wouldn't leave. Who was Sam trying to kid; this was it. This was where Dean would tell him what a loser he was for getting caught up with Heather again, and that he was cutting Sam loose.

Closing his eyes, Sam steeled himself for the words.

"I'm sorry. I'm being…immature and you need to know why."

Eyes snapping open, Sam made eye contact with his brother. He didn't know what Dean was talking about. Dean was fine. Dean was perfect. Even their dad had agreed on that score.

Dean's face was pale and drawn and he had a constipated look about him that told Sam his brother wasn't looking forward to sharing whatever was on him mind. He didn't know what Dean was worried about, after all, Sam was the screw up.

He couldn't handle the disappointment he expected to find in Dean's eyes so Sam shifted his focus to the comforter beneath his hands, worrying at it gently with his fingers.

"When we were at Heather's apartment, you passed out and the psycho bitch said she couldn't help you unless she fed. I let her feed on me and there was a moment when…well, there was a moment when all three of us were, um, touching, um, and something happened."

Sam was having a hard time following Dean's narrative with all of the hemming and hawing but he could easily pick up the disgust in Dean's voice. He still couldn't look at his brother but Dean at least deserved an apology. Sam must have fucked up royally. He could barely get the words out of his parched mouth. "I'm so sorry, Dean."

A strong hand roughly swiped at Sam's worrying fingers and his attention was jerked up. "Would you knock that off? I'm trying to tell you something here and you're not paying attention."

Soundly reprimanded, Sam hesitantly looked at his brother's scowling face. "I'm sor…"

"If you fucking say you're sorry one more time, I swear to God I'm going to belt you one."

Tears flooded Sam's already watering eyes and he willed them to stop. He didn't want to antagonize his brother anymore. He really was a hopeless case. No wonder Dean couldn't stand him.

-0-

The words leapt out of Dean's mouth before he could filter them. "If you fucking say you're sorry one more time, I swear to God I'm going to belt you one."

His little brother looked startled and then weepy as the unnatural sheen of tears flooded bloodshot eyes. Christ, this was harder than Dean had thought it would be.

Forcing himself to take a deep breath, Dean plunged on. "The link you and Heather had was strong, really fucking strong, and according to that psychic vamp whore, it tapped into some new age pleasure spot and it was like, off to the races. I couldn't control it. At all. I mean, don't take it personally but any old body would have done, it had nothing to do with you. You get what I'm saying?"

Sam looked freaked out. And confused. Hell, Dean was confused, too, and he'd been awake for the experience. The once in a lifetime experience he hoped never to experience again. "Sam, say something. Anything. Do you understand what I told you?"

Looking like he wanted to shake his head yes but unable to pull it off, Sam's head sunk down onto his chest. "No, not really."

Fantastic. Dean had to try to explain it again. This was worse than the whole birds and the bees talk he'd given to a 6-year-old Sam. Come to think of it, Sam was giving him the same look now he'd given back then. Incredulous.

He could do this. Maybe if he pretended he was talking about someone else he could explain what happened better. "See, you were out and Heather needed to power up so I let her feed off of me so she'd be able to break the link between the two of you. Only things didn't go as planned when she touched your forehead because her hand drifted down to that Chakra thingee on your stomach and boom-chicka-boom!"

Heat crept up Dean's neck and he could feel his face flaming as a blush supplanted his normally pale complexion. Sam, always having to take the opposite tack from Dean, grew more sickly looking as the color washed out of his skin.

Sam's voice was so small, Dean had to lean forward to hear what he said. "You mean you were caught in our link?"

Finally. His little brother was getting it. He could tell by the appalled look on his face. But that wasn't the point of this little exercise. "I guess you could say that. There was this sensation. It was extreme. And I was holding you in my arms so Heather could touch you, break the connection, and things kind of just…well, let's just say I was in my happy place and you were caught in the crossfire. That bitch said it was from the link, that you were doing it, but I think it was her fault."

At the mention of Heather, Sam's face closed up. Missouri had warned him not to bring her up but she was a part of the story.

"Anyway, the bruises on your, um, body are from me."

That was it. Dean couldn't, _wouldn't,_ say anything more about the subject.

And Sam looked grateful when Dean stopped talking about it. Their dad had always teased that Sam wore his heart out on his sleeve but in this instance, Sam looked like he'd rather talk about anything else except what happened and what he was feeling.

But the truth was out. And Dean needed a break.

Shifting off the soft surface, Dean moved toward the door. He turned around and found Sam curled up in the middle of the bed, looking small and lost. Quite a feat for someone who was 6'4".

-0-

Sam waffled between stunned and disgusted. No wonder Dean was so freaked out.

Sam thought of himself as being pretty open minded about sexuality and he was having a hard time taking in Dean's confession. And his older brother, well, he wasn't narrow-minded but there was no doubting his identity was wrapped up in his hetero-sexuality.

And the fact that Dean had, well, um…the word incest kept popping into his mind but Sam kept pushing it firmly out. Dean hadn't been control of his own actions. It was all Sam's fault. Him and that damn link.

Thinking about it made Sam's head ache. And his hips throb. At least now he knew where the handprints smashed into his skin in the form of deep bruising had come from.

Ew.

Closing his eyes, Sam snuggled into the soft bedding. He was still chilled and his nose was running like a leaky faucet but for the first time since he'd encountered Heather again, his head was clear.

Dean didn't hate him.

"Sweetie? Are you feeling any better?"

Missouri was checking on him. She had a knack for making him feel better.

"Oh, you are a charmer. Unlike your chucklehead of a brother."

Sam wanted to laugh at her comment about Dean but he was completely lacking in energy at the moment. He also knew he should protest the ease at which the psychic read him but it was true, Missouri made him feel cared for. Just like Dean. Well, the Dean of old who didn't shy away from him.

But maybe with time that would fade.

"Just close your eyes and rest. When you wake up, I'm going to teach you some tricks. You're a psychic, whether or not you like it and that means it's high time you learned how to shield yourself. But don't worry, honey, I won't rush you. And your big brother won't let anything bad happen to you."

Dean. Sam trusted his brother. Maybe things would be okay after all.

TBC

A/N: Thanks to everyone who is reading and especially those who have left us reviews! One chapter left to go!


	14. Chapter 14

I'll Be Watching You Chapter 14

Summary: Sam comes face to face with his past, and must deal with his buried feelings over the trauma he suffered eight years ago. Sequel to Every Breath You Take. Takes place directly after Home. Co-written Sendintheclowns and beta'd by Floralia.

_Sam could feel hands touching, caressing him. He sighed. Jess, she always made him feel loved and safe. He could feel her nuzzling his neck and then there was pain. Heather._

_He moaned, not sure if it was in pain or pleasure. Sam no longer felt safe and loved; his being was now full of lust and guilt._

_He tried to push away. __**NO!**_

Sam shot straight up in bed and immediately felt hands on him. He struggled to get away until he heard his brother's voice.

"Sammy, you're okay." The grip loosened as Sam stopped struggling and he collapsed against his brother.

He felt Dean tense at first but soon, he was being pulled into a warm embrace.

Sam's throat felt like sandpaper, and he was drenched in sweat.

"You okay Sam?" Dean asked tentatively.

Sam nodded into Dean's chest. It was hard to form the words in his parched throat but he was able to rasp out. "Heather."

Dean sighed. "I figured. I'm just glad you're not delusional this time. Last time, I almost hurt you trying to get you to calm down."

Sam tightened his grip on Dean. Dean was his anchor through all of this Heather crap. "Sorry about that."

Dean pulled away enough to make eye contact. "Dude, if I had a dollar for every time you apologized this week, I'd be rich. Not your fault Sam. So stop it. I'm just glad you're doing better."

Sam gave Dean a weak smile. "Yeah, I can actually eat now without puking and I wake up with my mind intact in the real world now."

Dean smirked. "Whatever dude, like you have ever lived in the real world."

Sam shoved at his brother playfully. "Jerk."

"Bitch."

Sam was about to continue their banter when there was a light knock at the bedroom door.

Dean jumped up and opened it, revealing Missouri with a lunch tray in hand. She walked over to Sam and nodded at him to take it from her.

"Thought I heard you stirring Sam, hope you're hungry? You're lucky that there is anything left to eat. That brother of yours about ate me out of house and home at lunch." Missouri winked as Sam smiled at her.

Sam shot Dean a mock glare. "Dude, how dare you! Eating everything up and living your sick brother with crumbs."

Dean huffed. "Dude, crumbs work for birds and since you eat like one…."

Dean was cut off by their hostess.

"Boys, stop. Dean, I know you're a growing boy and I'm not mad, but I do need you to run to the grocery store for me and stock me up." Missouri reached into her pants pocket and pulled out a list and a few bills.

Dean took the list but refused the money. "Least I can do is buy the supplies, your meals have been heavenly."

Missouri huffed. "Just get me some groceries boy, and leave the flattery for your cheap harlots."

-0-

Sam was able to eat most of his lunch which made Missouri happy. The boy had come along way in the last few days. Her herbal remedies had succeeded in helping Sam over the worst of the detox side effects. She just wished that she could help him with the mental pain.

It was hard to help when the boy refused to open up about his time - past and present- with Heather.

_Damn Winchesters and their stubborn pride._

"Earth to Missouri." Sam smiled as he startled Missouri from her thoughts.

"I guess you did lose me there for a minute." Missouri returned Sam's smile.

"So, now that I'm feeling better- when are we going to start training? I would love to be able to shield the next psychic I run up against." Sam tone was light but his expression was anything but.

Missouri sighed. "Sam I know you have fears about your powers and other psychics after your recent encounter, but you have to realize that most psychics aren't out to hurt you."

Sam's face dropped and his eyes landed on his lap. "I'm not afraid of most psychics."

Missouri picked up on the tension in Sam's body. Heather was still haunting the boy, and he needed to face his fears about the vampire.

"Heather's gone, sweetie. I don't think you have to fear her, at least for now." Missouri watched as Sam flinched at the mention of Heather.

"She told me … God I just wish this would go away." Sam's voice was shaky and unsure. He was still refusing to make eye contact.

"Sam, I wish it would too. I know that what happened to you with Heather is complicated and not something you are comfortable discussing. But you need too. It's eating you up inside. So Sam, what did she tell you?" Missouri's tone was firm but her voice was soft.

"I can't." Sam said somberly.

"You can and you will tell me or I'm liable to get my wooden spoon out. Sam, honey you can tell me anything. I'm not going to judge you." Missouri tried to stay firm but reassuring in her tone.

"I know you won't but… this is so screwed up." Sam whole body was tense and she could feel his discomfort hit her in waves.

"Sam I know it's screwed up and a lot of what happened to you is embarrassing to talk about, but you need too. I haven't been prying on purpose but a lot of what has happened to you was broadcast to me when you were out of it and not in control of your thoughts. Please Sam, just let it out, I promise you'll feel better."

Sam blanched at the thought, Missouri had picked up on the dark sexual things that had happened to him. He wanted to crawl in a hole and hide.

But Sam knew from Missouri's tone that she wasn't going to let it this go and sighed in defeat. "I… wonder if she's still in my head when I sleep. She told me that psychic vampires can feed through…."

Sam went silent.

"Sam, I'm a psychic and after my first run in with Miss H, I did some research. Psychic vampire and succubi can feed through wet dreams. You're afraid that she might do that to you, right?" Missouri was pleased to see Sam lift his head, finally giving her eye contact.

He nodded. "How am I going to know now what is a dream and what's not? I mean, God. I've had lots of that kind of dreams about her over the years. Who's to say it wasn't her feeding on me every time? How many times has she violated me! I… when I was under her power and she told me about being able to contact and feed through dreams…I thought it was great. I could hold on to a piece of her, but now that my thoughts have cleared…it scares me!" Sam's voice was full of anger.

"You can't know for sure, but Sam, this ends now. I'm going to show you how to control your abilities so that you can shield yourself from her. I promise you won't have to fear her invading your mind again, whether it's in your dreams or waking hours." Missouri could see the tension leave Sam some as her words sunk in.

-0-

Sam helped Missouri clear away the lunch tray and they both sat down on the bed across from one another.

"Sam, have you ever mediated before?" Missouri's question hit Sam hard.

That question took Sam back in time, to the first time he had heard about mediation.

_Sam was alone in Heather's apartment. His brother and Dad had left him in her care…._

"_**Well, if you're not hungry, I have some homework you could help me with. I'm taking a meditation class at the rec center, and I need a meditation buddy." Heather smirked at Sam. **_

"_**Uh, I don't know anything about mediation, so I don't think I'd be much help." Sam jammed his hands in his pockets and continued to stare at her through his floppy bangs.**_

"_**It's not hard, I'm still learning, but it has helped me relieve the stresses in my life, and I think it might help you in getting your body to mend a bit faster. And I promise, that I will not tell your dad or Dean that you tried meditation, okay?" **_

_**Sam reluctantly nodded. "Good, I'm going to turn some music on, why don't you find a place on the floor to get comfortable and sit down Indian style."**_

Sam was pulled from his distant memories by Missouri's voice.

"Sam, I'm so sorry. Heather taught you how to mediate." Sam could tell that Missouri was reading him from her sorrowful expression. He wanted to be mad at the invasion but instead was relieved to share some of the burden.

"She did, but if mediating can help me block her then let's do this." Sam was resolved to get past the memories and to move on.

"I can help you, but Sam … until you face the demons of your past…I'm not sure that you'll be able to concentrate enough to shield yourself. Your experiences with Heather and mediating are going to hinder you learning. Those hidden memories and guilt are your Achilles heel. You have to flush them all out for this to work." Missouri's tone was firm and Sam knew that she wouldn't be backing down on this issue.

"So you want me to spill my guts about everything that happened with Heather?" Sam knew that his tone was full of anger, but he couldn't help it. Facing his past with Heather was not something he wanted to do.

Missouri huffed. "I want you to clear your head, face your demons. Unfortunately, in your weakened state over the last week you projected a lot of your horrible memories my way. I have a pretty good picture of what happened and the guilt that you're feeling. It isn't me that you need to talk too. I'm happy to listen, if you need to put a voice to what happened, but in order for it to be beneficial I think you need to talk to Dean."

"But… I don't think I can. I wanted to so many times over the years. I wanted to come clean, but I just couldn't…" Sam watched as Missouri bristled at him.

"Damn stubborn Winchesters! I had almost the same conversation with your brother. He was so ashamed and felt so much guilt over his decision to let Heather feed on him and the resulting connection. I watched him pace for an hour before he got up the nerve to face you. But he did, and now you two have been able to move forward. Give your brother some credit, he'll understand. Probably more now than ever since his own encounter with Heather." Missouri gave Sam a reassuring smile.

"I know you're right but…"

"No buts about this Sam. You need to talk to Dean, end of story." Missouri started to stand and placed a hand on Sam's right shoulder and gave it a squeeze. "I'll send him your way when he gets back. It'll be okay, I promise. Then once the air is clear, you and I will get to business on your psychic shielding skills."

Sam gave her a small smile as she left the room.

-0-

Sam about jumped out of his skin when his brother entered the room.

Dean smirked at Sam. "Dude, your hunting skills are getting soft with you living the easy life here in this bedroom."

Sam sighed. "Yeah well, I'm sure you'll whip me back into shape the minute we hit the road."

Dean's face dropped to one of concern. "You sure you're feeling better. 'Cause you look like Hell."

"Nice Dean, really nice. I'm just tired and I have a lot on my mind." Sam motioned for Dean to have a seat on the bed.

Dean nodded and plopped down across from Sam. "Missouri said you wanted to talk to me about something. And…."

Sam huffed. "I know you don't do chick flick moments."

"Dude, quit interrupting me. I was going to say that while I know we don't usually do the whole sharing and caring thing- we need to with the whole 'Heather the bitch' stuff. I opened up to you, so your turn dude." Dean patted Sam on the leg and waited.

"Missouri thinks I need to start from the beginning." Sam said in a quiet voice, not sure how Dean would respond.

"I think she's right. And if we're going to start there, then I have a few things I want to come clean on, if that's cool with you." Dean's tone was unsure.

Sam was a bit startled at his brother's new need to share. Not wanting to ruin the moment, Sam just nodded and replied. "Sure dude."

"I want to apologize to you. I really dropped the ball. At fifteen, you had a good sense of people and I should have listened to you when you complained about Heather." Dean's voice was thick with emotion.

Sam hated that his brother was still carrying guilt from that. He never felt that Dean or his dad were to blame.

"Dean, she played you and Dad. I never felt like you were responsible. She duped us all, it's her fault." Sam could see the misery in his brother's face.

"Yeah well, maybe she did. But then I dropped the ball again after we rescued you. I should've insisted that you open up. You've evidently been caring around a lot of guilt for a long time, and that could've been avoided if I'd insisted. I just wanted to pretend it didn't happen and move on." Dean was now staring at his hands.

"Uh Dean, denial works both ways. I wanted it to go away too. I don't think you could've gotten me to open up then. If I had my way, I'd keep this buried. But Missouri thinks that I'll never be able to shield myself from Heather if I don't come clean." Sam could see his brother tense at the mention of Heather.

"We should've hunted her down and ended her as soon as you were better." Dean's voice was full of anger.

"No, if you had I think it would've done me more harm than good. I would've felt guilt that I was the reason she died. I… God this is hard. I had.. I _have _feelings for Heather that I can't even explain. Some part of me hates her, but some part of me _needs_ her." Sam watched as Dean's head popped up, and Sam was afraid of the expression he would find there.

Sam was expecting disgust but found sympathy. "Dude after what happened, you're bound to be confused about your feelings." Dean's voice was soft. "Sam, what did she do to you?"

Sam swallowed hard. "She fed on me through my Chakras- which are your body's energy spots, and she did blood bonding feeds too. I was out of it for most of the feedings but once she got me to the hotel room away from you guys- I tried to run … but she overpowered me and I saw just what she was." Sam's body trembled with the memory.

Dean body tensed. "God Sam, I'm so sorry I wasn't there to stop her."

Sam nodded. "No reason to be sorry Dean, you were there for me in the end. Anyway, after that I was more aware of what was happening. She wanted me to love her, the way she loved me. There was one feeding that I remembered that happened before she kidnapped me… it was so intense. She fed off my Sacral Chakra- it is the Chakra that brings us sexual fulfillment."

Dean's eyes were blown wide in shock. "Did she touch you?"

Sam took a deep calming breath before continuing. "She undressed me, and I think she stroked me but the whole sex act took place through the Chakra. It was like having sex through energy. It was the most intense sexual experience I've ever felt. I think you got a glimpse of how powerful that can be when you were hooked to her." Sam watched his brother's fists clenched in anger.

"Damn it! She had no right to use you like that. You were just a kid and she claimed to love you! Ha! Loved you like a pedophile!"

"You're right Dean, so right. She was like a pedophile, sick. Heather wasn't able to control herself around me, but I know she cared. If she hadn't cared my plan wouldn't have worked." Sam regretted the words the minute they left his lips. His secret plan was about to be revealed and he hoped that his brother would forgive him.

"What plan Sammy?" Dean voice was full of concern.

"I tried to get loose and away from her Dean. I really did, but she was too strong and I was out of options. I knew she loved me and would do anything for me so… I made myself sick. I was so sure that if I was sick enough, that she would let me go and it worked." Sam tensed and waited for the fireworks to start and he wasn't disappointed.

"You almost died Sam! Oh My God, you were so weak, how could you do that?" Dean's face was full of anger.

Sam wilted into a ball. In a low broken voice he spoke. "I'm so sorry Dean. I didn't mean to get so sick, but once I started my plan things spiraled out of control. I never meant to worry you."

Sam was shocked to feel his brother pull him into an embrace. "Shhhh Sammy, it's okay." It was then that Sam realized he was sobbing.

Dean began a rocking motion and continued to use a soothing tone. "I'm sorry I got mad Sam. I just hate that you were alone and sick with that bitch. This isn't your fault Sam, it's hers. I don't blame you, in fact it was probably the only way you were going to get away from her."

Sam pulled slowly away from Dean and wiped his tears away with his shirt sleeve. "So you're not mad?"

"Nope, not at you anyway. I'm glad you told me Sam. I don't want you to feel guilty about this anymore. I get it. I do. You did what you had to in order to survive. So what other secrets are you keeping in that thick skull, I want them all out now!" Dean gave Sam a reassuring pat on his leg.

"I- I feel guilt over the fact that I lusted over her all this time. I even had wet dreams about Heather when I was with Jess. It makes me so sick when I think about it." Sam swallowed hard and buried his head in his hands.

"Sam she bonded with you, so you are totally the victim here. Her victim, and the victim of hormones. You can't control them and I have had some interesting dreams myself - you know that. It's normal and Jess wouldn't have held them against you, so chill out about it and forgive yourself for being a man!" Dean smiled.

Sam smirked. "Did you admit I'm a man?"

"Geesh Samantha, if you're going to make such a big deal about it, I'll take it back." Dean smirked back. "So are we good here?"

"Yeah, I've told you everything about the past ….."

"Yep, and now I understand why things got so out of hand this time so we are good Sammy. No more guilt." Dean gave Sam a big smile.

Sam smiled back and for the first time in a long time he felt a lot lighter.

-0-

Missouri was amazed at how fast Sam adapted to using his powers to shield others. He was going to be a powerful psychic someday and she hoped that he could handle it.

At least for now, he was protected and hopefully Heather would leave the poor boy alone.

Missouri felt like she might. It was apparent to the elder psychic that the woman did love Sam and had once again sacrificed her feelings to help him.

One could never tell about the future, but for now Missouri felt like Sam was ready to face it.

-0-

Dean waved goodbye to Missouri who was standing on her front stoop. He had an overwhelming feeling of déjà vu as he wheeled the Impala away from the curb and headed for I-70.

He'd been more than ready to leave Lawrence and the memories being back stirred up but this time leaving was bittersweet.

His brother was physically on the mend, having survived a nasty bout of Heather-itis, but mentally Sam was still wrecked. And Missouri, with her nurturing nature – at least toward Sam as Dean only seemed to be on the receiving end of threats with the wooden spoon – and her psychic abilities had provided a safe, comfortable place for his brother to stay while he sorted himself out.

His little brother was a psychic. Sure, he'd known something was up when Sam had described the dreams he'd had. Dreams that came true. And the whole thing with Jenny's family at their old house had happened.

And it certainly helped to explain why Heather had targeted Sam all those years ago. Buried deep down where it couldn't see the light of day, Dean had always harbored a feeling of disbelief that their sultry, older neighbor had targeted his geeky younger brother. Sam had been a gangly, awkward teen; Dean had been coming into his own, a prime physical specimen. And it had hurt in a twisted kind of way that Heather had swiped his younger, defenseless brother instead of Dean.

But Sammy was a psychic.

Hell, even Missouri herself had confirmed the fact, stating that while they stayed at her house she would act as a shield; apparently his brother gave off a "vibe" that attracted the baddies. Missouri screened that effect and taught Sam to shield for himself.

But Dean still had misgivings, mainly about Heather. It always went back to Heather. And the bitch was like the elephant in the room that neither brother wanted to talk about.

He shuddered in the driver's seat as he thought about the soul sucking vamp tramp. Sam wasn't the only one who had come away with unwanted baggage on this visit.

Dean looked at Sam out of the corner of his eye. Reaching out, he lightly hit him in the shoulder and was dismayed when his brother jumped in his seat, startled. "Hey, what do you say we burn rubber?"

A tentative smile replaced the serious pinched look that had dominated Sam's face lately. His brother reached under the seat and pulled out the box of cassettes, catching Dean by surprise.

Music in the Impala was always a loud affair and Sam always seemed to have a headache these days. Pulling a cassette from the box, his brother slid it into the player and cranked the volume.

Boston again. Only this time it was the band's second release and the opening licks of Tom Scholz's guitar filled the Impala.

Don't look back

A new day is breakin

It's been too long since I felt this way

I don't mind where I get taken

The road is callin

Today is the day

The brothers traded a smile as Dean hit the ramp to I-70 and accelerated with gusto. The Impala rocketed forward and took them west.

To a fresh start.

Finis

A/N 1 – Gidgetgal9: Wow- we finished another tale with Heather and she escaped again! The naughty girl! I just hope you the reader had at least half the fun reading this as we did writing it! I couldn't have done it without my wonderful partner in crime- Sendintheclowns. She is the best and it is always a joy to write with her! Floralia being our beta was icing on the cake. She is a lot of fun to work with and always full of great ideas! Thanks to everyone who read this and especially those who took time to review! Our readers are the best!

A/N 2 – Sendintheclowns: And thus concludes our second story featuring the lovely, twisted Heather. Is she good, is she bad, will she ever leave Sam alone? Maybe we'll find out in the next story we plan to write featuring Heather. In the mean time I'd like to thank Gidgetgal9 who is such a delight – her creativity blows me away and she writes some of the best other and secondary characters out there in my opinion. Super talented lady. And then there's Floralia who I can't thank enough. Her steady hand, eye for continuity and sense of humor (seriously, we should have left her comments in for you to read on some of these chapters because they were beyond hilarious) kept us on track. And thank you, whoever read this story, for reading it through to its conclusion. It had to make for uncomfortable reading in places but hopefully it made sense in the context of the story. Until next time!


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